


Shadows

by ChirpB



Series: Say My Name [8]
Category: ATEEZ (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Superheroes/Superpowers, Angst, Car Accidents, College, Dialogue Heavy, Head Injury, High School, Hospitals, Injury, M/M, Misunderstandings, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Panic Attacks, Permanent Injury, Storytelling, Superheroes, Superpowers, Villain OC - Freeform, hongjoong best boy, no beta we die like men
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-26
Updated: 2020-06-23
Packaged: 2021-03-02 22:07:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 21,094
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24384016
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChirpB/pseuds/ChirpB
Summary: “What? Don’t give me that look. I promise I don’t bite,” Seonghwa rolled his eyes at that, “Besides, you’re a powerful kid. You could beat me up easily, I bet.”Seonghwa tilted his head in confusion, “Powerful? That’s not really a word that people would use to describe me.”“That’s because they don’t know what you can do,” the man continued, “You know superheroes, right?”Seonghwa was about to answer, but the guy cut him off, “Of course you do! Who doesn’t?”Seonghwa actually found it in him to smirk at the statement.“You see, I can actually sense and track powers. And you, my friend, have some of the greatest power I’ve ever felt before.”Seonghwa just stared at him with a blank, yet also shocked expression.“Um...what?”--------------------The origins of NightwaveA.k.a - Park Seonghwa(Please read previous works in series for context!)[ON HOLD]
Relationships: Kim Hongjoong/Park Seonghwa
Series: Say My Name [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1560964
Comments: 116
Kudos: 84





	1. Pt. 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is gonna be chaptered, btw :D
> 
> I'm gonna try and update it every Friday and Monday, so I hope you guys look forward to that.
> 
> I also really hope you enjoy this first chapter!
> 
> Lemme know what you think!!!
> 
> Enjoy!
> 
> (P.S. - Don't expect this first chapter to be amazing. I actually deviated a lot from my original outline.)

Seonghwa sat at his desk in the back of the classroom, not really paying attention to anything that was happening.

This was his last class of the day, and it was his favorite class, but not because the subject was his favorite.

No, he didn’t really like algebra that much.

What he did like, and what made the class his favorite was the fact that his crush of a couple months was in the class.

And he sat one desk diagonal to Seonghwa, so Seonghwa could turn his head slightly and see the face he loved to look at so much.

The other never noticed him though. Which was probably for the better, in Seonghwa’s opinion.

Seeing him every day before school got out was the highlight of Seonghwa’s day. It had been the highlight of his weeks and months since he started crushing on the other boy.

Those fifty minutes where he could just look at the boy uninterrupted were the highlight because things at home weren’t going as well as they could’ve been, and that definitely didn’t help his deteriorating mental state.

He would wake up every day and hate that he was still on the Earth. He would avoid his father, who was always asleep on the couch and sneak out the door and go to school with his head hung low.

People at school weren’t necessarily mean to him, but they didn’t really care for him and basically ignored him. Which was fine by him. He was really bad at opening up to people anyways. 

He walked through the halls of his high school and just hoped that people would ignore him. He would just have to get through all of his classes until his last, then he could see his crush.

Kim Hongjoong was always a light in everyone’s lives. 

He just always seemed happy and was always being kind to everyone. Even the people he didn’t know super well.

That was very evident to Seonghwa.

Hongjoong didn’t even know Seonghwa, but when the older was pulling a couple of books out of his locker and someone bumped into him, causing him to drop his books and crinkle a bunch of papers, Hongjoong was there in a heartbeat, helping the older pick his stuff up, even though the late bell for their shared class had already rung.

It was at that moment when Seonghwa fell in love with the smiling boy before him.

Seonghwa stuttered out a quiet thanks and Hongjoong just smiled in response and asked if he was okay.

The two made small conversation on the way to their class, but that conversation didn’t lead Hongjoong to befriending Seonghwa.

But it did leave Seonghwa longing for Hongjoong to be something a little more than a friend to him.

So as Seonghwa sat in his desk, looking longingly at Hongjoong, he was too distracted to notice when the bell rang and the teacher finished the class by assigning their homework.

Seonghwa watched as Hongjoong turned to put his book and notebook in his backpack and stood up, getting ready to leave the room.

“What are you staring at, weirdo?”

Seonghwa jumped at the voice coming from beside him.

He looked up to see a girl with fierce eyes staring down at him with something like a sneer on her face.

“O-oh...nothing. I was just lost in thought,” he made up. Well, he wasn’t exactly lying, but he wasn’t just lost in thought, “Can I help you?”

“Yeah, maybe stop looking at my friend like a creep,” she snapped.

“S-Sorry, I didn’t mean to stare at him. I just-”

“Stop acting like you aren’t always staring at him! I always see you looking at him during class!”

Seonghwa’s eyes widened and an ice cold feeling settled in his chest, taking his breath away.

He looked around, concerned for all the attention the girl’s statements were garnering. He could see several people giving the two a side eye. Probably because they were annoyed, not that they were eavesdropping.

At least, that’s what Seonghwa hoped for.

He dared to throw a glance in Hongjoong’s direction to see if the other was still there, and saw the other facing some of his other friends, but tilting his head slightly, as though he was listening to what could barely be called a conversation happening just behind him.

“Hey, look at me!”

Seonghwa turned back to the girl with wide, scared eyes.

“Don’t think I didn’t see that, Park Seonghwa!

He didn’t know how to react to the apparent scolding he was getting from one of Hongjoong’s friends.

His chest constricted at the thought that maybe Hongjoong had her talk to Seonghwa in place of him to tell him to stop.

Was he really being creepy?

Seonghwa’s heart raced.

His lungs wouldn’t let him breathe fully.

He looked down at the floor by his feet so he didn’t have to stare into the girl’s hateful eyes.

There was some sort of moisture falling along his cheeks. He didn’t know if they were tears, sweat, or a mix of both.

He risked taking a glance back up and saw the girl’s lips moving. Her face contorted with anger.

Seonghwa couldn’t help but glance over at Hongjoong again.

This time, the boy was up on his feet and had a look that Seonghwa hoped was one of concern.

But why would it be concern for _him_?

It was probably just embarrassing and concerning to see one of your friends confront a creep who began crying.

Seonghwa noticed all of the sound around him starting to be drowned out by a painful ringing in his ears.

He gasped through a small sob and his hands shot up to his ears. 

His head pounded as though someone, probably the girl in front of him, was beating a hammer against his skull. He squeezed his eyes shut and tried to even out his breaths.

He let out another sob, this one was louder, he could tell. Even if he couldn’t really hear it himself.

His tears weren’t stopping.

Hongjoong was still there, wasn’t he?

Seonghwa’s eyes flew open, making him a little dizzy.

He forced himself to see who was still there, but the sight before him didn’t look like how he was expecting it too. It was very different from earlier.

The room seemed a lot darker and there were only a couple people left in the room; including himself, the girl, and Hongjoong.

Hongjoong.

Hongjoong was right in front of him, eyes filled to the brim with concern.

He saw the younger’s mouth moving, almost in panic, but Seonghwa’s ears were still ringing.

Seonghwa squeezed his eyes shut once again and let out a whimper.

This was pathetic.

He was pathetic.

He had no chance to even be friends with Hongjoong now that he ruined the other’s day and embarrassed him in front of their class.

Seonghwa was jolted out of his spiraling thoughts when a hand was placed on his knee.

His head shot up, trying to see who it was, but he only saw Hongjoong’s face again, this time, it was wearing a shocked expression.

Seonghwa’s breathing became more rapid, as did his heartbeat.

He had to leave.

Hopefully he could go home, sleep, and hope everything would be better the next day.

He stood up quickly, knocking Hongjoong over onto his backside, and moved to grab his stuff.

He fumbled with all of his notebooks and books, but eventually got his bag onto his back.

Seonghwa turned towards the exit and practically pushed his way past the girl as he rushed out the door and down the hallway.

The ringing in his ears stopped just long enough for him to hear Hongjoong’s voice almost yell, “Why would you do that?!”

Seonghwa didn’t question it. He just assumed it was directed towards him.

He pushed himself past several people and down the hallway as his thoughts spiralled and the ringing in his ears grew louder and louder.

Once he got out of the building, he expected to be able to breathe better, but his lungs just constricted even more.

He might’ve caught the attention of random strangers as he ran, but he didn’t care as he practically sprinted down the street the opposite way to his house.

He couldn’t go home now. That would only make his mental state worse. He just knew it.

Soon enough, he made it to the “bad” part of town that was mostly inhabited by homeless folk and those who barely had enough to provide for themselves.

He tried to slow himself down, but only ended up tripping over an uneven part of the sidewalk he was running on.

Thankfully for thim, there was no one there to see him fall flat on his face.

Seonghwa just laid there for a second, crying his eyes out and not caring that his nose was bleeding from the faceplant.

After what seemed like forever, he weakly pushed himself up onto his hands and knees and looked down at the small puddle of blood on the sidewalk. 

Great, another mess he made that someone else had to clean up.

Pathetic, Park Seonghwa.

Pathetic.

He pushed himself up so he was standing, his vision swimming for a second as his body adjusted.

He wiped his nose with the back of his shirt sleeve (it was barely cold enough to wear long sleeves out), and it came back wet with a bit of blood.

He groaned and sniffled as he thought about what had just transpired.

He stumbled to the entrance of a nearby ally and leaned his back against the brick wall, sliding down slowly with a sense of defeat.

When would life ever turn out alright for him.

He never noticed the entire time that the shadows of objects around him seemed to be moving more than they should be.

  
  
  
  


It took him at least twenty minutes to calm himself down and stop his nose bleeding enough to pull out his phone to see the time and if anyone had called or messaged him.

It was six-thirty.

No calls.

No messages.

He didn’t realize how long his whole breakdown had lasted, and that fact scared him.

The fact that no one seemed to be trying to contact him wasn’t at all surprising.

With his knees pulled up closer to him, and his arms resting on top of his knees, he let his head drop in defeat.

Maybe it was better if he just...left.

A less intense wave of tears began flowing from his eyes and down his cheeks.

He pulled his non-bloody sleeve over his hand and used it to wipe his tears away.

“Hey, kid,” a deeper voice sounded from somewhere near Seonghwa, startling him.

He jumped and whipped his head up to meet the face that the voice belonged to.

There was a taller, bulkier man standing about ten feet away from where Seonghwa was positioned on the ground.

He was wearing a coat that went about to his knees and had the sleeves rolled up to his elbows, revealing several nasty looking scars.

The man’s face had two scars: one smaller one on his jaw, and one longer one running across his opposite cheek.

The most startling thing was the man’s red-brown eyes.

At least, that’s what they looked like to Seonghwa.

“Sorry for startling you,” the man said with a chuckle, “I just saw you sitting here and wondered if you were okay or not. Also, you got a little...blood on your face,” Seonghwa’s eyes widened and his hand shot up to try and wipe the blood off.

“Hey, don’t worry about trying to get it off of your face right now. I’m just making sure you’re okay?” Seonghwa was always suspicious of people, but this guy seemed nice enough, “It’s getting pretty late, and it looks like you haven’t been home from school yet…”

Seonghwa turned his attention to where the man was looking.

Seonghwa’s backpack lay a couple feet from him. The straps a little frayed and the bag itself a bit dirty.

“O-oh...yeah, I haven’t been home yet. I might not…” He trailed off.

“You might not go home?” The man finished. Seonghwa nodded, letting the other continue, “Stuff pretty bad there then?”

Another nod.

“You know, I may seem like a sketchy person, per what I’ve been told, but I wouldn’t mind letting you over at my place for the night. Especially so we can get you cleaned up for school tomorrow.”

Seonghwa raised an eyebrow at him.

“What? Don’t give me that look. I promise I don’t bite,” Seonghwa rolled his eyes at that, “Besides, you’re a powerful kid. You could beat me up easily, I bet.”

Seonghwa tilted his head in confusion, “Powerful? That’s not really a word that people would use to describe me.”

“That’s because they don’t know what you can do,” the man continued, “You know superheroes, right?”

Seonghwa was about to answer, but the guy cut him off, “Of course you do! Who doesn’t?”

Seonghwa actually found it in him to smirk at the statement.

“You see, I can actually sense and track powers. And you, my friend, have some of the greatest power I’ve ever felt before.”

Seonghwa just stared at him with a blank, yet also shocked expression.

“Um...what?”

“I noticed that when you were panicking a little bit earlier, things around you moved. And no, not in the telekinesis way. More like...The shadows, if that makes sense.”

Seonghwa scoffed, “You’re trying to tell me I have powers or something?”

The man nodded, “You for sure do. I want you to pay attention to detail next time you’re not in the best mood.”

Seonghwa rolled his eyes and shook his head.

The man frowned.

“You think I’m lying?” He said, offended.

Seonghwa sighed, “Well-”

He was cut off by the man sticking his arm out and clenching his fist.

Seonghwa’s eyes widened as he saw a blueish purple spark near the man’s hand that grew bigger and bigger until an opening the shape of a door formed. Inside the door was another area, not what should’ve been behind it.

“I’m a powered person, I told you,” The guy said with a smirk.

Seonghwa’s mouth was open in shock as he nodded, accepting the guy’s story.

“So...How did you find me then?”

“Well, that was pretty easy,” He started, “There was a big surge of darker energy near a high school, probably yours and probably from you. Then the energy started growing smaller as it moved away from the building. I decided to follow, and here we are,” He spread his arms out like he was presenting a performance.

Seonghwa nodded again, trying to process the information.

“So you’re saying I basically lost control over my...powers?” He hesitated to call them that since he didn’t really know if they actually were or not.

“Yep, and that could’ve ended pretty badly. But saying you lost control implies you had control to begin with,” Seonghwa actually let out a small chuckle at that comment, “The thing is, a lot of people’s powers do show up at around your age, so don’t worry too much. Just remember that I’m here to help you.”

The man smiled and Seonghwa gave him a small smile back.

“Does that smile mean you agree?”

Seonghwa shook his head and smirked, “One night. You have one night to tell me what’s going to happen and try and win me over.”

The man looked delighted to hear Seonghwa’s semi-agreement.

He stepped forwards and offered a hand to Seonghwa, who took it and let the man help him stand up. 

He grabbed his bag from off the ground and slung it around his shoulder.

Seonghwa watched as the man stepped through the portal-thingy and motioned for him to follow.

‘ _I just hope dad isn’t too angry with me,_ ’ Seonghwa thought to himself. He shook the thoughts from his mind and stepped through the portal and into what he assumed was the guy’s place.

The portal closed behind him and he turned to look at the older man.

“Oh yeah, my name is Seonghwa, by the way.”

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Seonghwa,” The man said with a toothy smile (Seonghwa noticed his teeth were a little more yellow than the average person’s).

“My name’s Hal Victorio.”


	2. Pt. 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for missing Friday
> 
> A lot of things have happened recently
> 
> But I hope you enjoy this!

The rest of ATEEZ watched as Seonghwa squeezed his eyes shut as though he were in some sort of pain.

Hongjoong was quick to be at his side to make sure the older was okay.

“You good, hyung?” San asked from his spot on the couch.

Seonghwa heard a slight ringing in his ears, but tried to put a smile on his face.

For some reason, his memories from before were getting foggy. He knew he remembered things one way before, but then when he thought about it recently, they would be completely different.

“Yeah...yeah, I’m good.”

“Do you need to sit down? You can have the nice couch,” Mingi offered.

Seonghwa chuckled and waved him off, “No, I don’t think that’s necessary. I just...Something doesn’t seem right with the way I’m telling the story.”

His eyebrows drew in concern.

“Well,” Hongjoong started, “You’ve told me this part of the story a billion times, so I know you tell it well.”

Seonghwa shook his head, “No. That’s not the problem. I feel like the story is actually different than I remember, somehow.”

Hongjoong was tempted to smirk, “What? Like there’s a difference between what you remember and what I remember from our first k-”

“Hyung, don’t spoil the story!” Wooyoung cut off, causing everyone else to chuckle.

Seonghwa sighed and gave his boyfriend a soft smile, “I’ll keep telling the story, but if something doesn’t seem right, and is different than before, tell me. Because I think something’s up with my brain right now.”

“I’ll let you know,” Hongjoong said with a nod.

Seonghwa was about to continue with the story when Yunho raised his hand like he was waiting to be called on in school.

“Yes, Yunho?”

Yunho put his hand down, “Who is that Hal guy? His name sounds familiar, I just...I don’t know.”

Everyone in the room gave the healer a concerned look.

“I don’t think you would know him at all. He was just someone from my past and I don’t think you would know him,” Seonghwa explained.

Yunho nodded, but his eyebrows were drawn together in a concerned confusion.

“Anyway, let me continue.”

  
  
  
  


Seonghwa was shocked as he looked around what he assumed was Hal’s “lair” (for lack of a better word).

The place wasn’t as nice as he was expecting, for some reason.

The walls were made of a dark brick and there didn’t seem to be any windows in the room they were in.

At least, there wasn’t any natural light shining anywhere.

There was a single bulb shining from the middle of the room’s ceiling, but that almost didn’t provide enough light to reach the corners of the room.

There were plenty of shadows.

Just like at home.

Seonghwa shook his head and watched as Hal shrugged off his long coat and practically flopped onto a nearby couch.

“So, Seonghwa, what grade are you in?” Hal asked.

Seonghwa sighed, “Eleventh. So I’m a junior right now.”

“Oh, cool you’re almost a senior and an adult then?”

Seonghwa nodded.

“That means you can get out of your house next year, right?”

Seonghwa nodded again, but a little more hesitantly, “I guess, but I don’t think I would.”

“Oh?”

“Well,” Seonghwa hesitated to tell the man he just met what was actually happening at home. It definitely wasn’t as terrible as it could be, but it wasn’t something he particularly liked to talk to other people about much, “If I decide to let you help me, or whatever, I’ll tell you what it’s like.”

Hal shrugged, “Sounds like a fair deal to me. And kid, if you’re really not comfortable sharing it, don’t bother. Sometimes keeping things to yourself is better.”

Seonghwa’s brows drew together in confusion at the statement, “You’re really telling me to bottle stuff up? That’s not what-”

“What a bunch of TV shows taught you?” Hal interrupted, “Kid, those show the ideal life. In reality, no one is really gonna be listening to you talk about your problems unless you have money or true friends,” He paused and glanced at Seonghwa, seeming to look him up and down, “And judging by what I’ve seen from you so far, I’m guessing you don’t have either of the two.”

Seonghwa wanted to protest, but he knew the man was right. 

The only people he considered close to friends barely even acknowledged him and were more like acquaintances. 

The money…

His dad wasn’t trusted with money, so that led Seonghwa to not have any money.

“I guess you’re kind of right.”

“Of course I am! I’ve been through this kind of thing before and I’ve known people who have both had it worse and better than you, from what I know.”

Seonghwa looked down, a little saddened by the surprisingly true statement from the older man.

“Hey, kid, have you eaten yet?”

Seonghwa’s head shot up and he looked at Hal, who was now sitting up and tapping his phone screen.

“No, I haven’t.”

“Sweet! That means we’re ordering pizza. Go take a seat and get comfortable. We’re gonna be attempting to unlock your power more while we wait for the pizza,” Hal instructed.

Seonghwa nodded in understanding and sat down in an armchair that was across from the sofa Hal sat on. He let his bag drop off of his shoulder and onto the floor, not really caring what damage was done to the books.

He sat there for a couple minutes, trying to debate with himself if training with Hal would be a good idea or not. They did still have the whole night ahead of them, so Seonghwa would have to wait and see how he felt about it.

Hal stood up abruptly and moved to crouch in front of Seonghwa.

“Okay, let’s start off simple,” He started, grabbing Seonghwa’s attention immediately, “I want you to close your eyes and take deep breaths. In through the nose, out through the mouth, you know how it goes.”

Seonghwa nodded and closed his eyes, albeit a little hesitantly.

He took some deep breaths and kept breathing until Hal instructed him again.

“Good, good, keep going. While you’re doing that, I want you to pick a memory that gives you strong emotions when you think about it.”

Seonghwa nodded again and wracked his brain, trying to think of something that fit Hal’s description.

The most obvious one he could use was the moment his family got into a car crash and the week following, but he didn’t want the memory to be a bad one. He wanted to feel happy when he used his powers.

After trying to think for a couple minutes, Hal interrupted. “Do you have one yet?” He asked calmly.

Seonghwa sighed, “I don’t really have the happiest memories, but I do know some that are emotional. I just don’t want to dwell on things like that.”

“Well,” Hal sighed, “Sometimes we have to remember and dwell on the things we don’t want to in order to learn.”

Seonghwa frowned.

“Seonghwa, that memory, whatever it may be, will be a strong one that will help you become more powerful. So focus on it, and breathe,” Hal instructed.

The younger furrowed his brows and closed his eyes, taking deep breaths as he thought through his most painful memory.

The things that made it the worst for him.

It was mostly the smells that he could remember the best.

Burning rubber and gasoline.

Blood and vomit.

Antiseptic and sterilized rooms.

That’s how he thought about it at first.

That led to what he could hear.

Screeching tires and terrified screams.

Crying and choked sounds.

Beeping and wheezing.

The dark corners of his mind became more prominent as he thought about the whole situation more and what that past situation has led to currently.

It isn’t the worst a person can go through, but for Seonghwa, it’s enough to hurt. A lot.

He began breathing a lot faster as the scene replayed over and over in his mind. The panic he felt when the accident actually happened began to force its way into his chest and constricted his lungs.

His stomach lurched with a coldness he vaguely recognized and caused him to gasp at the sensation.

“It’s...cold,” Seonghwa breathed out, a little shocked.

“Good. Now familiarize yourself with that feeling and remember it,” Hal responded, his voice seeming further away than before.

Seonghwa listened and tried to get himself to imprint the coldness onto his mind.

He focused so much on the feeling that he could barely hear it when Hal chuckled happily and told him to open his eyes.

Seonghwa took a breath and opened his eyes slowly.

He could only see black around him, making him panic for a second thinking he was blind.

After glancing around the room attempting to see anything other than the shadows around him, he saw Hal standing a little further away than he was earlier.

Seonghwa’s eyes widened as he saw the older’s smile.

“You’re using your power, Seonghwa,” Hal stated, “And this isn’t even a fraction of what you can possibly do.”

His breathing picked up a tiny bit, but it wasn’t from panic.

He suddenly felt more exhausted than he usually was and wanted to just rest his eyes.

“Seonghwa, look at me.”

Seonghwa looked up and saw Hal standing in front of him. When did the other move from his spot? Why didn’t he notice?

“Kid, you do need to keep focus though. You can’t just let your power out, or else it’ll eat you from the inside.”

Hal’s command caused Seonghwa’s chest to fill with panic and tighten more.

He could die from using his power?

“Seonghwa, stop! Listen to m-”

_ Ding dong _

Seonghwa gasped as his mind slammed back into focus and the darkness slammed back into him.

He clutched his arms close to his chest to stop his chest from hurting so much.

He was in pain.

His head was pounding.

“I’ll get the door. Good job,” Hal said, almost no emotion showing in his voice.

Seonghwa laid himself down slowly across the couch as he chest loosened slowly.

His cheeks felt wet. 

For the second time that day, he didn’t know if it was from sweat, tears, or both.

  
  
  
  


The two sat in silence.

Well, what could be considered silence considering how loud of an eater Hal was.

Seonghwa didn’t have the stomach to eat any pizza with how vividly he remembered the accident and how much his abilities seemed to affect him.

So he just sat there, thinking about how his dad was at home.

If the old man was really worried, he would’ve at least texted his son.

Seonghwa was used to that treatment now, though, so it didn’t really matter to him what his father did or didn’t do.

He still pulled out his phone so he could look at some youtube videos or play some games as he waited for Hal to tell him what they were doing next.

Once he was through the second part of a game playthrough, he felt his phone vibrate in his hand and looked to see that he actually got a text from someone.

His first thought was that it was a spam caller.

But spam callers didn’t text…

He looked at the unknown number, then at the message.

  
  


**_UNKNOWN NUMBER_ **

_ Hey _

  
  


Seonghwa waited to see if anything else was going to be sent, and a couple seconds later, a new text came through.

  
  


**_UNKNOWN NUMBER_ **

_ I’m really sorry for what happened after school today _

_ Yeji is really protective, but that was way over the top and she shouldn’t have done that. _

  
  


Seonghwa tilted his head in curiosity.

He didn’t know that was the girl’s name, but he had heard of Yeji before. Although it wasn’t anything much.

He wouldn’t forgive her for what happened if she got someone else to apologize for her. That’s not how apologies worked. But the thing was, Seonghwa knew that she was right and he was being creepy staring at Hongjoong like that.

  
  


**_YOU_ **

_ Sorry, who is this? _

  
  


**_UNKNOWN NUMBER_ **

_ Sorry _

_ This is Kim Hongjoong _

_ I probably should’ve started with that, huh? _

  
  


“What?!” Seonghwa yelled, making Hal jump from his spot on the opposite couch.

“Woah! What’s happening?!”

Seonghwa blushed and put his phone down, “Nothing, nothing. Just something I wasn’t expecting.”

“And might this someone be your crush?” Hal asked with a smirk.

Seonghwa gasped and glared at the older man.

“How did you know?!”

“I have telepathy, along with a couple other brain power thingies, but I just call it telepathy to simplify it for others,” he explained, “That and it was just a guess, but you confirmed it.” Hal winked and Seonghwa gagged.

“Wow, rude.”

“Hey, no need to get defensive. I am keeping your powers a secret, after all. I can handle a crush. Now go text him back.”

Seonghwa sent one more glare Hal’s way and turned back to his phone.

  
  


**_UNKNOWN NUMBER_ **

_ This is Seonghwa, right? _

  
  


**_YOU_ **

_ Yeah _

_ It’s Seonghwa _

_ How did you get my number? _

  
  


**_UNKNOWN NUMBER_ **

_ Well, I have my ways ;) _

  
  


**_YOU_ **

_ Hmm _

_ Interesting _

_ Because I haven’t given anyone my number that I’m aware of _

  
  


**_UNKNOWN NUMBER_ **

_ I’ll tell you how I got it when you’re older, young one _

  
  


**_YOU_ **

_ I’m literally older than you? _

  
  


**_UNKNOWN NUMBER_ **

_ And what of it _

  
  


**_YOU_ **

_ Fair enough _

_ Thank you for apologizing, but I still don’t forgive her, even though she was right about what she was saying. _

  
  


**_UNKNOWN NUMBER_ **

_ I don’t know what you guys were talking about exactly _

_ But I know that no matter what it was, she shouldn’t have been that harsh about it _

  
  


**_YOU_ **

_ I mean, I guess that makes sense _

_ Thank you for apologizing though. You had no reason to. _

  
  


**_UNKNOWN NUMBER_ **

_ Of course! _

_ I was just worried when you left super quickly and kind of just disappeared _

_ Weird stuff was happening at the school around the time you left _

_ So I was worried something bad happened to you _

  
  


Seonghwa sucked in a breath at the mention of strange things happening. It was probably something that happened because of his power. It had to be.

  
  


**_YOU_ **

_ Ah, thank you for worrying _

_ No one really does that _

  
  


**_UNKNOWN NUMBER_ **

_ No one? _

  
  


**_YOU_ **

_ Not really, no _

_ But it’s okay, it doesn’t matter much _

  
  


**_UNKNOWN NUMBER_ **

_ I don’t think that’s okay _

_ Everyone should have someone _

  
  


**_YOU_ **

_ Oh hey, I gotta go _

_ I’ll talk to you later _

  
  


**_UNKNOWN NUMBER_ **

_ Oh, okay. _

_ Stay safe! _

  
  


Seonghwa left him on read and wasn’t sure why he was opening up even a little bit to a guy he barely talked to before.

It might have been his crush, which was his dream come true, but he didn’t want to burden Hongjoong with any of what he was going through.

How was he going to face him at school the next day?

That was the biggest concern Seonghwa had at the moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope everyone is staying safe and doing what they can and are able to do for BLM. 
> 
> If you guys need someone to reach out to for emotional support and comfort through this time, you can talk to me on twitter, or even in the comments on here! I love you all and want you to stay safe! <3
> 
> I hope y'all enjoyed the chapter and I do want to know what you thought and if this added to any theories *wink wink*.
> 
> I will update on Friday for ya, because I'm gonna stick to my schedule now. I PROMISE!
> 
> Have a good one, beans!!!


	3. Pt. 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A tiny bit late, but we're still figuring out how to manage time.
> 
> Enjoy!!!

He honestly didn’t know what he was supposed to do.

Hal had him sleep on the couch and at that moment Seonghwa was hit with how weird of a situation he was in.

He definitely shouldn’t be sleeping at a stranger’s house. Especially when he does have a home he could go back to.

Granted, he might be able to ask Hal to teleport him home, but Seonghwa was too scared and awkward to ask such a thing.

So he just stayed there and slept on the couch.

Hal told him that he would wake him up for school and they would go from there.

Seonghwa did have an exhausting day, so he fell asleep easily, despite the situation.

He didn’t dream much.

The only thing he remembered from his sleep when he woke up was a pair of warm arms after a repeat of the accident and the nickname his mom would always call him when he was little to comfort him.

Starlight.

He woke up with warm tears slowly moving down his face.

He was thankful that he woke up before Hal could get to him and wake him up. He didn’t want the older man to see him looking so weak. Although, the state Seonghwa was in the night before was a clear indicator of how weak he was.

Seonghwa scrolled through his phone for a minute before Hal came into the room and noticed the younger already awake.

“Good morning, my guy! If you want to take a shower, which I recommend, the shower is down the hall and the first door to your left,” Hal offered.

Seonghwa rolled his eyes at the statement and stood up, stretching his arms above his head, causing him to wince.

“Ow.”

“Oh, are you sore from yesterday?”

Seonghwa nodded, “Somehow, yes.”

“Not somehow. It’s from you using your powers for the first time,” Hal explained, “It actually takes a bigger toll on the body than people think.”

Seonghwa lowered his arms, “I mean, that does make sense. I’m gonna go shower now.”

Hal nodded as Seonghwa walked into the dim hallway. He found the bathroom and turned the light on, revealing a slightly dirty bathroom.

It wasn’t dirty, like he was expecting, for some reason.

He didn’t really know what he was expecting, actually.

It was fairly large and had a bathtub separate from the shower that had glass doors. The vanity had two sinks with a mirror running along it. Everything was fairly clean, from what Seonghwa could see. There was only a stray tissue here and there.

He went ahead and closed the door behind him, locking it.

Seonghwa began to take his shower and was almost done when Hal knocked on the door.

“I have some extra clothes that look like they could be your size, if you don’t want to wear your dirty clothes to school.”

Seonghwa paused washing his hair and thought about it.

“I’ll see what they look like, then I’ll decide. Thank you.”

“Cool, I’ll just leave these by the door.”

And with that, Seonghwa quickly finished rinsing himself off and found a towel to wrap around himself.

He opened the door a tiny bit and was able to grab the pile of clothes that Hal had left him.

There was a pair of black jeans and a white t-shirt. Seonghwa went ahead and tried them on.

While the t-shirt was a little big, the pants fit perfectly and he stepped out of the bathroom.

Hal offered to wash his clothes for him as they ate some cereal the older had lying around in the kitchen. 

The kitchen and the dining room were actually very nice in contrast to the room that Seonghwa slept in.

“So,” he started, “I know you’re still deciding on if you want me to help you out or not, but I had an idea.”

Seonghwa swallowed a bite of cereal, “And what’s that?”

“I can give you until the end of the school day to make your decision. I’ll wash your clothes while you’re there, and then bring them to you after, and hopefully you’ll have made your decision by then,” Hal explained.

Seonghwa thought about it, staring intently at his cereal bowl.

“I think that’s a good idea. I won’t be able to focus in class anyways, so I might as well try and think of that and what to do.”

“Sounds good,” Hal paused, “If you don’t mind me asking...what’s the situation like at home for you?”

Seonghwa stopped mid-bite, “It’s complicated. It could be worse, but it isn’t the best.”

“That’s what everyone says, but pain is still pain, no matter the magnitude.”

Seonghwa quirked an eyebrow, “Wow, that sounded very,,,philosophical of you.”

“Nah, someone just told me something like that once,” Hal explained with a smirk.

Seonghwa shook his head with a small smile on his lips. “Well, it isn’t something I’ll just be able to tell you. If I decide that I want you to help me, then I’ll let you know,” Seonghwa explained.

Hal looked down and nodded in acceptance.

“Understandable,” He paused, “If you’re done, I can teleport you somewhere near the school so no one sees us.”

Seonghwa agreed and stood up at the same time as Hal. The two cleaned out their bowls and went to get ready to leave.

Hal took Seonghwa’s dirty clothes and put them into his washer.

Seonghwa grabbed his backpack and his phone and stood in the main room, waiting for Hal to take him to school.

The older walked in and opened a portal the same way he did the day before.

Hal motioned for Seonghwa to walk through and followed behind the younger.

They stepped out into an alley that wasn’t too cramped.

Seonghwa looked towards the ally’s exit and saw a shop that he knew to be pretty close to his school. 

A sudden chill ran down his spine as he realized what he would have to face at school. 

Probably a lot of stares from his classmates and some nasty glares from, who did Hongjoong say it was? Yeji?

Yeah, he was definitely gonna get more glares from her.

And Hongjoong.

He couldn’t stand the looks Hongjoong would be giving him.

He started panicking a little bit and was tempted to turn back and go back to Hal’s apartment, but the older man stopped him by placing a hand on Seonghwa’s shoulder.

“Hey, don’t worry. The other kids will most likely be paying attention to themselves, and that Hongjoong kid is nice, isn’t he? He was concerned for you yesterday. I don’t think he’ll be sending you weird looks or anything like that,” he said, attempting to comfort Seonghwa.

Seonghwa looked up at him with worried eyes.

Hal gave him a sympathetic smile, “If you can’t handle a few looks from people who don’t matter to you, how are you gonna handle the rest of your life?”

Seonghwa looked down in shame, “I guess you’re right.”

Hal chuckled, “Of course I am. But really, you can do this. Go to class, do your work, and think about my offer, okay?” 

“Okay, I will,” Seonghwa promised.

“Meet me back here after school and I’ll give you your clothes and you give me what choice you’ve made.”

“Sounds good,” Seonghwa confirmed.

Hal nodded and stepped back through the portal, closing it up behind him.

Seonghwa steeled himself and began the short walk to the school; although his anxiety made it seem a lot longer than that.

  
  
  
  


Seonghwa went throughout most of the day avoiding everyone’s eyes and avoiding them as much as he could in the hallways.

Throughout his first couple classes, he thought about Hal’s offer and what his powers could mean for him.

He was on his way to grab some lunch from the lunchroom as a thousand questions rang through his head.

Would he be able to become a hero? Was Hal a hero? Could he befriend other heroes?

If he could do that, there was a possibility of him making friends with someone who could heal.

That would mean he might be able to find someone who could help his mom in time-

A light tap on Seonghwa’s shoulder snapped him out of his thoughts and startled him.

He jumped and let out a small yelp as he turned to see who it was.

Hongjoong stood there with a slightly shocked expression.

“Oh, I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to scare you.”

Seonghwa took a deep breath to calm himself down and gave Hongjoong a small smile.

“You’re good. I just wasn’t paying attention like I should’ve been,” Seonghwa glanced around nervously to see if Yeji was anywhere nearby. The two were just outside of the lunchroom, but most of the students were inside, and the ones outside of the lunchroom didn’t seem to care about someone like Seonghwa talking to an amazing person like Hongjoong.

“What’s up?” Seonghwa asked.

Hongjoong seemed to snap out of his thoughts and raised his eyebrows, “Oh, sorry, I was just wondering if you were going to eat with someone today.”

Seonghwa gave him a sad smile, “Ah, no, I usually eat by myself,” He paused debating on whether he should invite the younger to eat with him or not.

He decided not to when he realized that would be a pretty weird thing to ask of him since they barely knew each other and Hongjoong probably had a million other people he could sit with. Not to mention Yeji would be furious if she saw the two even near each other.

“Oh great!” Hongjoong exclaimed, causing Seonghwa to frown in confusion.

Hongjoong seemed to realize and a look of panic took over his expression.

“No, no, no! That’s not what I meant,” He quickly tried to fix, “I mean, that’s really sad that you don’t sit with anyone, but that means you can come sit with me if you want to!”

Seonghwa stared at the younger with a shocked expression.

“M...me?”

“Yes, you.”

“Why would you want me to eat with you?”

“Well,” Hongjoong started, seeming a little nervous, “I still feel bad for what happened yesterday. I know you told me it’s not really something I need to apologize for, but I still feel bad. That, and I noticed that you don’t really seem to talk to anyone else, so I thought you might be able to use a friend.”

Seonghwa didn’t know what to say to that.

He was still a little mad that Hongjoong was trying to apologize for Yeji, even though he admitted it wasn’t really his problem.

But he didn’t know what to say about the friend thing.

It’s like a dream come true for him.

Seonghwa didn’t know how he had been able to act so normal around his  _ crush  _ of all people.

A sudden heat filled his cheeks as he spluttered to answer.

“Um...I don’t know. I’m not really good around a lot of people.”

The corners of Hongjoong’s mouth quirked up a tiny bit.

“Lucky for you, I usually eat with maybe two people, and neither of them are here today,” the younger explained.

Seonghwa nodded, considering his options. “Okay...okay, sure. I mean, I might not be the best company, and you probably think I’m dramatic after yesterday, which isn’t wrong, but I really don’t-”

Hongjoong placed his hand on Seonghwa’s shoulder, causing him to cut off his rambling.

“I think it’ll be just fine. Your presence is good enough, and I can just tell you about me, if you want.”

That plan didn’t sound all that bad to Seonghwa, so he agreed.

Hongjoong’s face lit up with the brightest smile Seonghwa had ever seen on the younger. Hongjoong led him to an empty classroom after they got their lunch and sat down on one of the seats.

“Are you sure we can be in here?” Seonghwa asked nervously.

Hongjoong nodded, “Yeah, I know the teacher pretty well and he’s pretty chill. I come eat here all the time.”

Seonghwa, still not super reassured by Hongjoong’s claim, sat down in a seat facing the younger and started to eat his food.

It was a couple minutes of silence before Hongjoong spoke up.

“Is there anything you want to know about me? I’m not sure how to start the conversation,” He said with a nervous chuckle.

Seonghwa smirked, “Nah, I don’t really have a ton of questions,” even though he did, but he just didn’t want to sound crazy, “Maybe...What’s your favorite thing to eat?”

“Oh, that’s easy and hard at the same time,” Hongjoong paused to think, “I actually really like ramen, even though it’s simple. Oh, and chicken.”

Seonghwa smiled at that, “Same, actually, I really like chicken and ramen, but definitely not the spicy kind.”

“Same! I can’t do spicy for the life of me!”

The conversation went on like that for several minutes before Seonghwa was finally done with his food and he noticed Hongjoong was as well.

“If you don’t mind me asking,” Hongjoong started, gathering his garbage, “Where did you run off to yesterday? I thought you lived in the other direction.”

“You know where I live?”

“Kind of, but not really. I just noticed that you walk home a certain direction, so I just assumed…” Hongjoong trailed off, looking a little embarrassed.

“I do live the other direction,” Seonghwa said plainly, not realizing what he was insinuating.

“Oh? Then where’d you go?”

Seonghwa tried to think of a good way to phrase it so it didn’t sound weird. Hongjoong has been nothing but kind to him. There was no way he would be mean about something like that? Right?

“I actually met up with a friend,” Seonghwa lied, “He helped me feel better a bit and we had some pizza,” that was a partial lie.

Hongjoong looked a little nervous or worried when Seonghwa glanced at his face, “Ah, well I’m glad you had someone looking out for you.”

Seonghwa almost thought the younger sounded a little sad, but he brushed it off when the bell rang, indicating that class was about to start.

He gathered his garbage and quickly stood up, not wanting to be caught in the middle of a bunch of teenagers in the hallways.

He shot Hongjoong a quick thank you and told him he would text the other later as he briskly walked out the door.

Seonghwa definitely didn’t expect that to happen today.

  
  
  
  


It was his last class of the day again and Seonghwa greeted Hongjoong as he sat down in his assigned seat in the back.

Hongjoong sent him a smile that Seonghwa reciprocated.

Once the lesson started, Seonghwa’s mind went right back to figuring out if he should go with Hal or just try and be as normal as he could.

The questions he thought about earlier rang through his head.

Especially the one that meant he might be able to make friends with someone who could heal the most important person in his life.

The one who would call him her little Starlight.

That seemed to be the point that tipped the scale towards Hal’s side for him.

His mind was made up.

He would tell Hal after school and see what happened next.

Seonghwa just hoped that wasn’t going to be a mistake.

Hal seemed like a nice guy though, so he didn’t worry too much, especially since the older man took care of him so well.

The bell rang, indicating the class and school day to be over.

Seonghwa quickly hopped out of his seat and walked out as fast as he could.

If he was gonna learn to control his power, he would do it quickly.

Once he reached the doors to the outside, a hand grabbed his arms gently, holding him back a little.

Seonghwa turned to see Hongjoong for the second time that day and gave him a questioning look.

“Sorry, I just wanted to ask you something important,” the younger explained.

Seonghwa glanced at the clock that was on the outside of the school and saw the time. He had to get to Hal quickly or he was worried the older might just leave him.

“I kind of have to hurry, what’s up?”

“We can walk a bit while we talk. It won’t be long,” Hongjoong said.

Seonghwa agreed and started walking towards the alley. 

It was a block or two away, so the conversation should end before he gets there.

“I just wanted to ask you about yesterday. I know I’ve brought it up a lot, but there’s something really important that I have to ask you that might sound crazy,” Hongjoong explained.

Seonghwa let out a nervous chuckle, “I don’t think things could get any crazier for me, honestly.”

“Ah, well, I’m not super sure how to bring this up, but something weird happened while you were panicking and I’m not sure how to explain it, and-”

“What do you mean, ‘something weird’,” Seonghwa interrupted, stopping abruptly.

Well,” Hongjoong was obviously nervous and Seonghwa started to feel bad, “It got really dark. The lights didn’t go out, but it just got really dark.”

Seonghwa continued walking, Hongjoong following.

He could see they were getting really close to the shop.

“Maybe it was the clouds outside, or something,” Seonghwa suggested.

Hongjoong shook his head, “No, then the lights inside wouldn’t have gotten any darker. I don’t really know how to explain it, but I-”

“Seonghwa?”

Seonghwa and Hongjoong both stopped in their tracks as they noticed Hal in front of them.

“Oh, hey, how’s it going?” Seonghwa asked casually.

“I mean, it’s a little warmer today.”

Seonghwa noticed Hongjoong looking confused.

“Oh, Hongjoong, this is Hal. He’s the friend I was telling you about.”

“Ah, okay,” Hongjoong nodded in understanding.

“Oh, so this is Hongjoong?” Hal asked.

Seonghwa nodded.

“It’s nice to meet you!” hongjoong said, holding out his hand.

“Likewise,” Hal said as he took the younger’s hand, “Now Hongjoong, listen to me.”

Seonghwa watched as Hal’s eyes glowed almost red. 

His eyes widened as he looked to see Hongjoong’s own eyes turn red as well.

“I want you to forget that you ever saw something strange happen with Seonghwa. It didn’t get darker in the room, some clouds just made it a little darker. Are we clear?” Hal commanded.

To Seonghwa’s horror, Hongjoong nodded sluggishly as he kept staring into Hal’s eyes.

“Now, I want you to walk home and forget you talked to Seonghwa after school. This conversation ever happened.”

Hongjoong nodded again and Hal let go of the younger’s hand with a smile.

Hongjoong’s face seemed slack as he turned without a second thought and headed back the way they came from.

Once the younger was out of sight, Seonghwa whipped towards Hal with a scared expression on his face.

“What was that for?!”

“We can’t have anyone catching on to you having abilities. That will only make it harder for you. It won’t hurt him at all besides a slight headache, don’t worry,” Hal explained.

Seonghwa still didn’t like it, but lowered his head, understanding the situation.

“I have your clothes, by the way,” Hal said, “Have you made up your mind?”

Seonghwa’s heart raced as he mustered up the courage to say his answer. His heart seemed to be beating a million miles an hour before he finally answered.

“Yes, I have my answer,” He took a deep breath, “I want you to help me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys enjoyed that. That last little scene was actually made up right when I was writing, so I shocked myself and I feel evil for it, but P L O T.
> 
> Let me know what you guys think and such!
> 
> I don't know how often I'll be able to update next week since my family is going on vacation and my grandma said no devices, but we'll see. I could just write a bunch tomorrow and then post when I need to. We'll see how it works out.
> 
> I hope y'all have a good one!
> 
> Love you, beans!!!<3


	4. Pt. 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, here's a lengthier boi for ya
> 
> It's for missing Monday's update.
> 
> I hope y'all enjoy, and I'm sorry in advance :)

“And you thought that was a good idea?” Wooyoung asked, voicing what all the others were thinking.

Seonghwa’s head was beginning to throb.

He rubbed at his temples and closed his eyes to try and quell the pain his brain was experiencing.

Hongjoong stared at the floor in front of him with his eyebrows drawn downward in concern.

Jongho seemed to notice his leader’s expression and decided to ask, “Hyung, you okay?”

Everyone, especially Seonghwa, turned their attention to Hongjoong.

“What? Oh, um…”

Seonghwa placed his hand on his boyfriend’s shoulder and looked at him with a worrying gaze.

Hongjoong glanced up at Seonghwa with wide eyes.

“Why didn’t you tell me that happened? I don’t remember that...at all,” he said, shocked at the revelation.

Seonghwa’s brows furrowed, “I don’t-” he swallowed, “I don’t think I remembered that until just now.”

“How many other things do you think we forgot?” Hongjoong asked, genuinely concerned.

Seonghwa looked at the floor, tears threatening to fill his vision. “I’m not sure, but probably enough to worry-”

He was cut off by a sudden pulsing pain pushing its way through his skull.

He winced and squeezed his eyes shut, trying to force the pain to fade.

“Hyung! What’s wrong?” Seonghwa heard a panicked Yunho ask.

Seonghwa didn’t realize he was holding his breath until a hand was placed on his shoulder, causing him to let out a gasp.

He started to try and control his breathing, hoping that might make the pain lessen.

Hongjoong became increasingly panicked when he saw the state his boyfriend was in.

“Y-yunho. Can you help him at all?”

The younger shrugged and stared at his older teammate with worry in his eyes.

“I’m not sure what I’d be able to do,” He explained, “We might have some sedatives downstairs that could knock him out, but I don’t think that would stop him from hurting, just make him unconscious.”

Hongjoong thought for a second before making up his mind.

“Jongho, you know what the sedatives look like?” The youngest nodded in confirmation, “Go grab them just in case Seonghwa really needs them.”

As Jongho ran down the stairs, Seonghwa let out a quiet whimper.

Hongjoong quickly pulled Seonghwa closer to him, careful not to jostle the older’s head.

“Hwa, if you want to be knocked out for the time being, we can do that, but I don’t want to do that against your will,” he explained to his boyfriend.

“Not yet,” Seonghwa breathed out.

Hongjoong nodded, “Okay, just let us know what we can do.”

Seonghwa gave his boyfriend a small nod and took a deep breath.

Jongho came up the stairs with the sedative right as Seonghwa blinked his eyes open, focusing on the others who also had looks of worry on their faces.

“So, I’m guessing we don’t need this right now?” Jongho asked.

Seonghwa let out a weak chuckle, “No, not right now. Thank you though, Jongho.”

Jongho nodded and set the sedative down on the coffee table then took his spot back.

Seonghwa rubbed his temples again, “Anyone have any questions?”

Several hands shot up the moment the question was asked (two hands from Wooyoung). Seonghwa sighed and shook his head with a small smile on his face.

“Maybe I should just continue the story to see if any questions get answered.”

  
  
  
  


“Why exactly do you care enough to help me?” Seonghwa asked, pacing back and forth in front of Hal who was sitting on the sofa.

“Well, the thing is,” Hal started, “I need your help with stuff.”

Seonghwa stopped in his tracks and raised a questioning brow at the older man.

“What I mean is, I want to do things a little different than most heroes do now,” He explained, “You know the story of Robin Hood, right?”

Seonghwa nodded, “I mean, yeah. Take from the rich and give to the poor, right?”

Hal smirked, “Exactly! That’s what I want to do, except a little different, but you don’t need to worry about that. You just help me out with that and I’ll be able to help you learn your powers. Does that sound good?”

The whole explanation seemed a little too vague for Seonghwa’s liking, but he didn’t know how else he was supposed to get closer with other heroes and such.

“I guess,” he answered, “As long as we aren’t hurting innocent people.”

Hal nodded, “Of course. I’m not an animal.”

  
  
  
  


Seonghwa stayed over at Hal’s place for the second night in a row after the two worked on Seonghwa’s power again.

There was still so much the younger had to learn about it and Hal was probably his best bet for learning to control his abilities at this point.

Hal praised him for learning so fast, even though the only improvement from the night before was Seonghwa learning how to bring up the painful memory without closing his eyes and crying. He was able to watch as the room became engulfed in darkness like he had seen a glimpse of the night before.

The next morning, he had a headache that was beginning to form behind his eyes.

He went to school scared of what Hongjoong would say and if there was any extreme effect on him from Hal’s “mind wipe”, as the older liked to call it (Seonghwa argued that it would only be a mind wipe if it got rid of every memory, but the older man insisted).

After nervously looking around the hallways during the passing periods, searching for Hongjoong, he only manages to see the other during lunch. 

Hongjoong looked as though he were looking for someone, and Seonghwa had to guess that he was the one being looked for. He didn’t want to be found, so he just did his best to hide somewhere else while lunch went on.

The rest of the day passed and Seonghwa avoided Hongjoong’s gaze during their last class.

Seonghwa quickly left the building once class was over and headed home.

Not to Hal’s place, but his actual home.

  
  
  
  


Hongjoong let out a sigh, “That explains so much, actually. I thought I just made it weird or something.”

The group let out a chuckle as Seonghwa blushed a tiny bit.

“Hyung, you’re not really blushing, are you?” San asked.

Hongjoong whipped his head towards his boyfriend and saw the faint dusting of pink on his cheeks.

“Hwa!? Did I make it weird?!”

Seonghwa spluttered, “No, no! Of course not! I’m the awkward one, but I just wanted to make sure you were okay, but if something wasn’t okay I was gonna be really worried.”

Wooyoung let out a screeching laugh.

“It’s literally been years and you’re still an awkward person, apparently.”

Seonghwa glared at the younger, “I will break your knees, Wooyoung.”

Wooyoung held up his hands in self-defense.

The whole group was laughing softly. 

The mood was very different from a couple seconds ago, but Seonghwa felt bad when he had to tell them about the next part of the story.

  
  
  
  


Seonghwa stepped through the door that led from his garage and into the house, closing both the garage door and the one he just stepped through after him.

There wasn’t a car in the garage, meaning that his father wasn’t home from work yet.

He toed his shoes off and walked into the hallway just before the kitchen.

He quickly grabbed himself a snack (more like a sandwich) when he entered the kitchen, still hungry from not eating at school.

He looked around to see if his dad left him a note or anything, but his search proved disappointing when there wasn’t even a shred of evidence of his father’s concern for his whereabouts.

No longer having an appetite, he put the rest of his sandwich in a plastic back and put it in the fridge, part of him hoping that his father will see that as a sign that he’s still alive.

Seonghwa didn’t know why he showed up to his house. Maybe he just hoped that his dad would be home and he could find some semblance of how things used to be a couple months ago, but of course things never work out in Seonghwa’s favor.

He left the house the way he came in and headed towards the hospital. 

The walk was short and Seonghwa was grateful for it. He arrived at the main entrance after walking for only ten minutes.

He recognized the receptionist from all of the other times he’d visited.

She greeted him warmly, but wore a sad smile on her face, “Hello, Mr. Park. Here to see your mom?”

Seonghwa nodded with a small smile, “Yeah, only for a few minutes.”

“Sounds good,” she handed him a visitor's pass, “You know where to go. Dr. Hwang should be up there somewhere if you want to ask him for any updates. He shouldn’t be too busy for the next,” she looked down at her computer, “twenty minutes, it seems.”

“Thank you, ma’am,” Seonghwa said, walking towards the elevator.

He easily made his way to his mother’s room and found Dr. Hwang just exiting the room next to hers.

“Oh, hello, Mr. Park,” The doctor greeted, “Here to check on your mother?”

Seonghwa always found it a little funny whenever the doctor would ask him a question that had a fairly obvious answer, considering he was just outside his mom’s room.

“Yes, sir. Can I know about her condition?” 

Dr. Hwang nodded and had Seonghwa follow him inside his mother’s room.

Seonghwa took a seat, as per their usual routine, and watched as Dr. Hwang moved around the room, checking several things.

“I did check on her earlier, but it never hurts to double check,” The doctor said off-handedly.

Seonghwa smiled at the man and looked down at his comatose mother.

His father and brother always said he resembled her the most, and Seonghwa himself agreed.

Her pale skin almost shone in stark contrast to her pitch black hair. Her facial features completely lax as she lay unconscious. Seonghwa was always unsettled by the tube that stuck out of her mouth, allowing her to breath better. Her thin hands laid at her side, almost too relaxed.

Seonghwa smiled sadly at her and reached his hand over to lay it on top of her colder ones.

He knew the doctor was going to engage in small talk, as was their routine, so he decided to start first.

“How’s work going today? You seem to be in a fairly good mood.”

Dr. Hwang smiled at Seonghwa, “Work is going pretty well. A patient I just checked on is recovering well. She received a fairly bad concussion and broke her leg a couple days ago. She woke up earlier this morning.”

“That’s good to hear,” Seonghwa replied, genuinely happy that people were recovering, “How exactly did she...You know.”

The doctor chuckled, “You know, I’m not actually supposed to be telling you any of this stuff, but I trust you and I’m making it as vague as I can.”

“Shouldn’t you be making their gender less obvious then?” Seonghwa asked with a teasing smirk.

Dr. Hwang shook his head, “You really know how to get to someone, don’t you?” The two laughed.

“Anyways, the patient was reportedly collateral damage to a villain attack. It’s really interesting though, but we aren’t really allowed to ask her anything about it,” The older man explained.

Seonghwa nodded in understanding, a sudden question popping into his head.

“Do you know how people get powers and stuff?”

“No, I don’t believe they actually have powers,” The doctor said, shocking Seonghwa, “I think they have some sort of amazing technology that they use. Both villains and heroes,” He explained.

Maybe if Seonghwa didn’t obviously know that wasn’t the case, he would believe the doctor and understand where he was coming from.

“Ah, okay,” Seonghwa really wanted to change the subject, “So, any news?”

Dr. Hwang shook his head, “She’s in the same condition she was a week ago when you came. I’m really sorry, Seonghwa. I’m sorry we can’t do more.”

“You’re doing more than enough,” Seonghwa said. He looked down to his mother’s hand, tears filling his vision.

“Visiting hours end at nine. Other than that, take as much time as you want today. I know she appreciates your company very much.”

And with that, the doctor left the room, leaving Seonghwa alone with his mother.

He sniffled.

“Hey mom,” he started, “I know we can’t really do much to help you out, other than hope you get better, but I’m here. I don’t know if dad comes to visit you at all, he hasn’t really been talking to me much and I barely see him, but I know he loves you a lot.”

He interlaced his fingers with her seemingly lifeless ones.

“I love you a lot, too. Don’t forget that. I know you’d tell me the same thing. Something like, ‘I love you, my little Starlight, don’t forget it,’” Seonghwa imitated.

He let out a wet chuckle and let his tears fall, wiping them away with his free hand.

“I’m never gonna forget it,” he confirmed.

He sat there for a couple more minutes, not saying anything else, until a soft knock sounded at the door.

Seonghwa stood up, lightly letting go of his mother’s hand and moved to open the door.

He wasn’t sure what he should’ve felt when he saw Hongjoong standing on the other side of the door with wide eyes.

Seonghwa tilted his head and furrowed his eyebrows in confusion.

“Uh…”

“Um...hi there,” Hongjoong said nervously.

“Why?”

“Why what?”

“What are you doing here?” Seonghwa asked.

Hongjoong fidgeted, “I’m actually here to see a friend. I guess I got the door numbers messed up.”

“Ah, I see,” Seonghwa responded, not really knowing what to do or what else to say.

Hongjoong nodded. “Yep,” He said, popping the ‘p’.

“Who’s the friend you’re visiting?”

“Oh, it’s Yeji, actually.”

Seonghwa tilted his head, “Really? Is she okay?”

“Yeah, she’s okay. Just a broken leg and a pretty nasty concussion, I guess,” Hongjoong explained, and it clicked in Seonghwa’s mind, “My friend Ma...n. My friend man told me she woke up this morning and I wanted to visit.”

“Friend man?”

“Yes.”

“Huh, alright. Well, I’m glad she’s okay. I think she’s in the room next to this one,” Seonghwa informed, albeit a little nervously, “I’m actually headed out.”

“If you want to wait for a bit, I could give you a ride. I know you don’t have a car,” Hongjoong offered.

Seonghwa took a deep breath and held it, not sure if he should take Hongjoong up on his offer or not.

“Do you...have a car?”

“Someone I know drove me here. He’s waiting down in the parking lot,” Hongjoong explained.

Seonghwa nodded in understanding, “Ah, okay. I mean, I only live like ten minutes from here by foot, but I don’t even know if I’m staying at home tonight, so that might be nice.”

Hongjoong looked slightly concerned at that statement and Seonghwa mentally slapped himself.

“Ah, good,” Hongjoong said with a smile, “You can finish up here and meet me in Yeji’s room then, if you want.”

Seonghwa sighed, “I’ll join you right now, actually. One second.”

He had to mentally prepare himself a little more to see Yeji, but for some reason, she didn’t seem as intimidating to him, especially with Hongjoong there (her leg being broken lessened the intimidation too).

Hongjoong nodded and waited.

Seonghwa turned back to face his mother and moved to go say goodbye for the time being.

He placed a hand on her cheek, careful not to touch anything important that was connected to her and placed a gentle kiss on her forehead.

“Love you, mom,” Seonghwa said as he withdrew from her.

He glanced at the night stand that was next to her bed and saw the vase of flowers. They looked like they needed to be replaced. He also saw the little tag he put on it.

‘From: Your little Starlight’

“I’ll bring new flowers next time,” Seonghwa said to her deaf ears with a smile.

He turned back towards the door and saw Hongjoong quickly avert his gaze. The other seemed to quickly wipe something away from his eyes and turned away.

Seonghwa felt bad for making Hongjoong watch that, but he didn’t really know what else he was supposed to do.

“Sorry about that,” He told Hongjoong as he approached.

“No, don’t worry about it,” Hongjoong said, sniffling. He wiped at his eyes again, “Dang allergies.”

Seonghwa smiled at the other, falling in love with him just a little bit more.

“Let’s go see Yeji then.”

Seonghwa followed Hongjoong to the next room and let the other open the door.

Seonghwa peeked over Hongjoong and saw Yeji sitting in her hospital bed with her arms crossed, staring at the small TV in the corner of the room. She had the most angry look on her face, but that just might’ve been how she always looked.

That didn’t matter though, because Seonghwa was scared either way.

“Yeji, how are you?” Hongjoong asked cautiously.

The girl turned and stared at Hongjoong, her eyes turning soft when she saw him, but immediately hardening into a glare when she saw Seonghwa.

“Hongjoong,” She started, her voice a little raspy, “What’s he doing here?”

Seonghwa looked down and tried to seem occupied with a small whiteboard that was next to the door.

“He was already here for someone else,” Seonghwa was glad he didn’t mention that it was his mom, “and I offered to give him a ride home.”

Yeji just rolled her eyes and motioned for them to come closer.

Seonghwa busied himself with his phone, not really paying attention while Hongjoong and Yeji talked about whatever friends talk about when one is injured.

He was curious as to how it was being in the middle of a fight between a villain and a hero though.

He tuned into the conversation right as Yeji mentioned the villain.

“It was this guy that I haven’t heard of before. He called himself Havoc or something. He didn’t seem like he was super powerful, but somehow he got the best of-” Yeji glanced at Seonghwa, who quickly avoided her gaze, “He somehow got the best of the hero that was there.”

“Weird,” Hongjoong said, “And he just told everyone his name?”

“Yeah, like one of those wackjob villains,” Yeji used air quotes around that word, “who only do what they do to make themselves known.”

Hongjoong furrowed his brows like he was thinking really hard about something. Seonghwa thought the expression looked really attractive to him.

“Well, there isn’t really anything we can do right now, is there?” Hongjoong pointed out, suddenly sounding a lot brighter than earlier.

Yeji quirked a brow, “I guess. Are you leaving now?”

Hongjoong nodded and looked at Seonghwa who just glanced between the two.

“Yep, we are.”

He stood up and Seonghwa followed.

“I’ll visit you soon, Yeji,” Hongjoong said with a wave, exiting the room.

Seonghwa looked from Hongjoong’s retreating figure to Yeji, who was glaring at him still.

He mustered the best smile he could and waved at her, “I hope you feel better soon. Don’t strain yourself too much, okay? Concussions can be bad.”

Yeji’s expression seemed to soften.

“Thanks. And I’m sorry, by the way.”

Seonghwa almost flinched from the shock of the statement. He smiled at her, “It’s alright. You just focus on getting better, okay?”

Yeji smirked and nodded.

Seonghwa’s smile widened and he nodded at her, walking out of the room.

_ “Maybe I can make friends”  _ he thought to himself.

He followed Hongjoong into the elevator and the other pushed a button for the ground floor.

On the way down, Hongjoong spoke up, “She apologized?”

Seonghwa nodded, “Yeah...yeah, she did.”

“She isn’t so bad once you get to know her, trust me. You could be good friends if you tried,” Hongjoong stated, “That, and I think you both look like the dragons from How To Train Your Dragon.”

Seonghwa snorted.

“What?”

“Yeah! You look like Toothless and she looks like Lightfury! It’s your faces, I swear!”

Seonghwa laughed, “How long have you thought that?”

Hongjoong looked down at his feet, “Since the movie came out,” He said quietly.

“That long?” Seonghwa asked, tilting his head in confusion. The first movie came out years ago. Has Hongjoong noticed him this whole time?

“Y-yeah,” Hongjoong said nervously.

Seonghwa tried to stop himself from blushing, but he was sure he failed when his cheeks warmed up.

They made it to the ground floor and walked out of the elevator with an awkward silence hanging in between them.

Seonghwa followed Hongjoong to the parking lot where a sleek black sedan was waiting with a window down.

Hongjoong opened the back door and motioned for Seonghwa to step inside, the latter doing just that.

He got comfortable while Hongjoong got in behind him and shut the door.

“Who’s this, Joong?” a deeper voice from up front asked.

“A friend from school. His name’s Seonghwa and he just happened to be visiting someone in the room next to Yeji’,” Hongjoong explained.

“I see,” The man said, “It’s nice to meet you, Seonghwa. I’m Yonghwan.”

Seonghwa nodded when he noticed Yonghwan’s eyes looking at him in the rearview mirror. “It’s nice to meet you,” Seonghwa said a little nervously.

“Where am I dropping you then?” The man up front asked.

Seonghwa thought for a second. He didn’t want to go home and potentially face his dad, but Hal didn’t know that Seonghwa was coming over. Then again, Hal said he didn’t mind if Seonghwa wanted to stay over more.

“There’s actually a store I can be dropped off at. I need to buy a couple things from it before I go stay at my friend’s place,” Seonghwa lied.

He missed the way Hongjoong and Yonghwan glanced at each other, choosing instead to look out the window.

“Sounds good. Just give me some direction, okay?”

Seonghwa nodded, “Okay.”

They began driving and making some small talk with Seonghwa giving simple directions here and there. Yonghwan brought up Yeji’s condition and Hongjoong explained it to him.

Seonghwa couldn’t exactly figure out what Yonghwan was to Hongjoong, but he guessed that didn’t really matter and might be insensitive of him if he asked and it was actually extremely complicated and personal.

He didn’t want to risk that.

After about fifteen minutes, Yonghwan pulled up next to the curb of the little corner store.

Seonghwa hopped out and thanked the two.

“I’ll see you at school tomorrow, yeah?” Hongjoong asked.

Seonghwa nodded, “I believe so. I’ll see you.”

He closed the door and waved at them through the darkly tinted windows. He made his way into the store and made it look like he was busy looking for stuff as he watched the dark car drive away.

Letting out a breath of relief, Seonghwa bought a pack of gum and exited the store.

He made his way into the alley across the street and realized that he didn’t actually know where Hal lived.

A small bubble of panic made its way through Seonghwa’s chest.

He looked around and found nothing.

He almost started making his way back towards his house when a hand rested on his shoulder, making him jump with a screech.

He turned to see Hal standing there with an amused smile on his face.

“I didn’t know you wanted to stay over tonight. Not the best mood at home?”

Seonghwa nodded, breathing a sigh of relief.

“Well, you’re lucky I came to check the alley. C’mon, let’s go back,” Hal said, motioning for Seonghwa to go through a portal that appeared at Hal’s will.

It almost seemed routine at this point, but Seonghwa went willingly and the older man followed right behind.

Seonghwa made himself comfortable on the couch he usually slept on (usually being the two nights he stayed there).

“Do you want to tell me where you went?” Hal asked.

Seonghwa’s brows furrowed and he sighed, “I mean, I guess I should tell you about my past and stuff. You did ask about that.”

  
  
  
  


“So, I told him what happened and why I didn’t like going home,” Seonghwa explained.

“But hyung, you haven’t really told us about it,” Yunho brought up.

Wooyoung chuckled, “Okay, yes, you should tell us about that, but can we all talk about how awkward you two were and about the Toothless thing?”

Yeosang slapped the other’s shoulder, “Ow! What was that for?!”

“For being stupid,” Yeosang stated.

“Wow, rude,” Wooyoung said, rubbing his shoulder.

“Anyways,” Jongho started, “If you’re comfortable, do you want to tell us about your past, hyung?”

“I can. It’s not the most difficult thing to talk about anymore,” Seonghwa confirmed.

Hongjoong rubbed his boyfriend’s thigh with an almost melancholy look on his face.

“Is this also why your mom’s in the hospital?” Mingi asked.

Seonghwa nodded, rubbing his temples again, “Yeah, it is.”

Mingi nodded in understanding and gave him a sad smile.

Seonghwa took a deep breath and began retelling what had happened to him.

  
  
  
  


It was the end of May and Seonghwa was riding in the car his mom was driving with his older brother Minjun in the passenger seat.

Minjun was on his phone and Seonghwa was talking to his mom about what happened at school that day.

They were driving home from picking up Minjun from his campus dorm. The distance wasn’t too long, but it was long enough that Seonghwa was able to sleep for an hour in the car.

He was excited to see his brother after a couple of months apart.

It wasn’t as exciting, however, when Minjun just decided to be on his phone the whole car ride, texting his new girlfriend they had never met before.

Seonghwa tried to hide his sadness by talking to his mom about his day, hoping Minjun would join into the conversation at some point.

Their dad would’ve come to pick Minjun up, but he was called into work moments before they left to get him.

So Seonghwa just conversed with his mother, telling her about every little detail.

He even brought up a crush he had, hoping Minjun would be interested enough. Usually he was.

“And then they held the door open for me and smiled when I thanked them,” Seonghwa gushed.

His mother chuckled, “Oh really? I think they like you back?”

Seonghwa’s eyes lit up, “You really think so?”

She nodded, “Of course. I remember some of my crushes in high school. Well, your dad was one of them. I found out he liked me from one of my friends. They told me everything he would tell others about me,” She paused and laughed, “All good things, of course.”

“Sure, mom,” Seonghwa laughed.

“They probably don’t like you back, Hwa,” Minjun spoke up, setting his phone down, finally.

Seonghwa’s face fell, “Hyung, what-”

“Especially if it’s a guy. I can tell it’s a guy by the way you’re using they instead.”

Seonghwa tilted his head in confusion, “What does that have to do with-”

“No one cares if you have a crush or not!”

“Minjun! Stop! Why are you saying that to your brother?!” Their mom questioned.

She never seemed extremely angry with them over anything. That’s probably where Seonghwa got his temperament from.

“Because, he needs a reality check,” Minjun explained, “He needs to learn that crushed don’t last and he definitely won’t end up with whoever that guy is!”

“Hyung, what if I was saying they because that’s when they went by?”

“That doesn’t matter!”

Seonghwa flinched at his brother’s harsh words.

“Yes it does,” Seonghwa said softly.

“Why is this such a big deal to you, Minjun?” Their mother questioned.

Minjun huffed, “Because relationships never last.”

Silence engulfed the car and Seonghwa stared at his brother in shock.

“Did she just break up with you?” Seonghwa asked softly.

Minjun turned his head towards the window and Seonghwa swore he heard a sniffle come from the older.

He glanced at his mother and saw her hesitantly reach out to touch her oldest son.

“Minjun, that just means you haven’t found the right one. She wasn’t worth it,” She tried to comfort.

“No, it just means that I’m not worth anyone’s time.”

“You’re worth my time,” Seonghwa said. Their mom threw a thankful look back towards Seonghwa.

“Hyung, I love spending time with you, and I know how amazing you are,” Seonghwa started, “If others can’t see that, then they’re definitely missing out on a spectacular person who deserves the world.”

More sniffles could be heard coming from Seonghwa’s brother.

They rode in silence for a little longer until Seonghwa’s mom told him that Minjun was asleep.

“Did I say something wrong, mom?”

“No, honey, you said all the right things.”

“Why was he crying then? I know from the breakup, but…” He trailed off.

“He was also crying because he realized what a great brother he has,” His mother explained, “You have an amazing way with words, my Starlight.”

Seonghwa smiled at the nickname.

He knew a lot of his friends hated when their parents called them by their nicknames, but Seonghwa loved the way his mother said it. She always called him that so lovingly.

“Love you, mom.”

“Love you, too, Hwa.”

They sat in silence a little longer, finally entering back into the city.

Only about twenty minutes until they got home.

Minjun woke up and unbuckled his seatbelt.

“Hey, put that back on,” Their mom instructed.

“I am, don’t worry. It just got stuck when I tried to turn,” Minjun explained.

He didn’t get to put his seatbelt back on.

Their mom turned her head away from the road for one second while they went through an intersection.

Their light was green, but a car tried to do a left turn before they got there.

That car didn’t make it.

Going fifty miles an hour and crashing into a car definitely wasn’t something anyone would want to experience.

Seonghwa tried to warn his mom, but he was a little too late.

She wasn’t even able to slam on the breaks before they slammed right into the turning car.

Seonghwa’s body got flung around within the confines of his seatbelt. 

He squeezed his eyes shut and grunted when his head came into contact with the window he sat next to.

Pain flared through his brain.

It hurt.

A lot.

He barely registered when the car had stopped moving. There was something wet dripping down his cheek and he tried to pry his eyes open.

He could barely open them enough to see all of the glass covering the seat and him.

He lifted his head just enough to see the front seats and his mother-

Seonghwa tried to open his eyes more to get a better look, but his brain began to fog up and his body wouldn’t cooperate. He tried moving his hands, but his body was just too tired.

His stomach churned.

He didn’t want to throw up.

Once again, his body wouldn’t listen and he unconsciously lurched forward against the pull of the seat belt and emptied the contents of his stomach onto the floor beneath him.

He let his head hang there as the little energy he had left him.

Darkness was creeping into the edges of his vision and he barely whispered out his brother’s name and called for his mom before everything turned black.

In the distance, he heard sirens, but those sounds were quickly swallowed by unconsciousness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry *intense eye emojis*
> 
> Well, let me know what y'all thought of that.
> 
> Also, I might try and just make the next chapters that long in the future. I bet I could do it :D
> 
> Next update will actually be on time, and if it isn't, feel free to yell at me.
> 
> Always feel free to yell at me on twitter @Chirp_B
> 
> I hope y'all have a good one!
> 
> Love y'all!!!


	5. Pt. 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This isn't the lengthiest, but it's getting there.
> 
> Also, sorry for being a tad late, I got off work late and I got distracted by a heated discussion about otterpops and...other things XD
> 
> Enjoy!

The other boys weren’t exactly sure how they should’ve reacted to Seonghwa’s story, and it was obvious.

Seonghwa gave them a sad smile and wiped under one of his eyes to get rid of a stray tear.

Hongjoong stared straight ahead at the floor in front of him with a pensive look on his face.

“What happened after that?” Yeosang was brave enough to ask.

Seonghwa let out a sigh. “Well, from what I was told, paramedics came quickly. My brother was thrown through the windshield because he didn’t have his seat belt on and they guess my brother somehow hit my mother’s head, making her brain damage worse,” he explained.

That explanation earned a pained hiss from a couple of the team members.

Seonghwa looked around at all of them and smiled.

“This topic isn’t as heavy for me now. So don’t worry if I see a car crash or something. I don’t have any PTSD from it.”

It seemed as though a breath of relief left all of the boys at once.

Seonghwa gave them a mock offended look. “You guys have seen me in cars before. I drive you everywhere. Why are you surprised?” He asked with a laugh.

Mingi just shrugged when no one else gave an answer, causing Seonghwa to chuckle more.

“I guess I should also point this out, but my dad wasn’t the same after that,” Seonghwa informed, “He didn’t blame me for it, that I was aware, but he did make it seem like I also died in the crash just so he wouldn’t have to deal with me or something.”

Looks of concern and something akin to anger swept across everyone’s faces.

“He tried, he really did, but I guess it was too hard for him. I don’t blame him.”

“Well you should, hyung,” Jongho spoke up, “You were a kid and he practically left you to fend for yourself.”

Seonghwa could hear the anger beginning to seep into the youngest’s voice. 

“Jongho, situations are different for everyone. I wasn’t in the worst condition after and could take care of myself. I was fine.”

“You obviously weren’t,” Jongho snapped, standing up. A sudden tension filling the room.

San reached an arm out towards the younger, “Jongho, calm down.”

Jongho tore his arm away from San’s touch and Seonghwa could see the youngest’s eyes filled with an anger he wasn’t expecting.

“Parents should be the ones taking care of their kids in times of need! That situation  _ is  _ considered a time of need and your father decided to ignore you?! How are you okay with that!?”

The youngest was practically seething at this point.

“Jongho,” Hongjoong warned.

“Why are you all okay with this? You should all be mad at that guy!”

“Because Seonghwa-hyung is okay with it,” Yeosang said calmly.

Jongho shook his head. “He may have been able to provide for you physically. But mentally and emotionally? It’s no wonder that you ended up with the sketchiest person possible,” he scoffed.

“Jongho, calm down, sit down, or leave,” Hongjoong commanded.

Seonghwa honestly didn’t know how he should be reacting to the youngest’s sudden outburst. There were plenty of other things he could’ve gotten mad about, but it made Seonghwa curious as to why this certain part of the story triggered him.

The group still didn’t really know too much about each other’s pasts (well, except Seonghwa’s now). Jongho might’ve gone through something similar, but Seonghwa thought that moment might not have been the best time to bring it up.

“Did you not try and contact him at all?” Jongho demanded, catching Seonghwa’s attention again.

“That’s not-”

“So you didn’t? You didn’t bother trying to talk to him? Maybe that’s why he never talked to you,” Jongho accused, throwing Seonghwa off guard, “You probably got that trait from him. That explains a lot.”

“Jongho, I think you need to leave and cool down,” Hongjoong said darkly.

Seonghwa understood what Jongho was saying, but at this point it was unwarranted in the conversation.

“He was seventeen. You think he had enough courage to go and talk to his dad after something like that?” Wooyoung asked, testing Jongho.

“I would’ve,” The younger responded without hesitation, “I thought you would’ve been ecstatic to tell him you had powers and could maybe find someone to heal your mom. That’s what you wanted, wasn’t it?”

Everyone sat in the tense silence, not daring to respond.

Seonghwa swore he saw Jongho’s eyes flicker like they would when he’d use his power too much, but that wouldn’t make sense since he wasn’t using them.

“Well, we have Yunho now, go tell him that you can heal your mother,” Jongho said, tone suddenly deathly calm.

“Jongho, that’s not how my power works,” Yunho said sadly.

Seonghwa shot up, facing Jongho.

“Maybe if you waited until I finished the story, you’d understand where I’m coming from.”

Jongho’s scowl suddenly turned soft, “I…”

“Use your logical thinking. This all happened years ago. You think me so weak that I wouldn’t try my hardest to help my remaining family? Even back then?” Seonghwa wasn’t mad at Jongho, but for some reason, the disappointment he felt made tears threaten to spill.

The youngest’s expression softened even more and he looked down, seemingly in shame. 

Seonghwa couldn’t see the younger’s face anymore from how low his head hung.

Silence filled the room.

Seonghwa watched as Jongho’s shoulders hunched inward and started to shake. It wasn’t like he was crying, but more like trying to control his breathing.

A sudden wave of worry went through Seonghwa and he hesitantly reached out to try and comfort the youngest.

“I’m sorry,” Jongho said before Seonghwa could touch him. The youngest quickly turned and made his way towards the basement.

Seonghwa just stood there with an arm still stretched out; a look of concerned confusion on his face.

“Should...should someone go after him?” Yeosang asked hesitantly.

Hongjoong let out a sigh from beside Seonghwa, causing the older to snap out of whatever trance he was in.

“I think now would be a good time for a break,” their leader started, “Yunho, could you go check on him and make sure he doesn’t hurt himself? I think his power is acting up. He was probably holding it in.”

Yunho nodded silently and made his way to the basement.

“Well, I think today is a takeout day. Do you four want to decide on food to get?” Hongjoong asked the remaining four.

Yeosang nodded eagerly, a smile finding its way to his face. San and wooyoung nodded silently, the younger of the two shifting into a more comfortable position.

“Ooo, yes! I know this isn’t the best situation, but takeout always makes us feel better,” Mingi said.

Hongjoong gave them all a small smile, “Okay, good. I trust Yeosang with this. We’re gonna go take a nap.”

Mingi pouted, “Yeosang?!”

Hongjoong ignored him and grabbed Seonghwa’s arm, pulling him towards their room.

Once the two were sat on the bed, Hongjoong tried to get Seonghwa to focus.

“Hwa, you okay?”

Seonghwa hummed in acknowledgement.

“That’s not a good enough answer for me.”

“Let’s just go to sleep.”

“No, first tell me what’s up,” Hongjoong demanded.

Seonghwa let out a shaky breath. “I don’t know. All of this is just really...hard to relive. That and it’s like I’m remembering two different things,” he explained, rubbing his temples.

“What about the stuff that Jongho said?”

Seonghwa laughed sadly, “A lot of the stuff he said was said in hindsight. I don’t blame past me for that, but I just wish he’d listen further.”

“Makes sense,” Hongjoong responded, “I don’t think he’s been handling things well recently.”

“That was his power acting up, wasn’t it?”

Hongjoong nodded, “Definitely. He’s usually much calmer.”

“Did something I said trigger him, do you think?” Seonghwa asked.

“No, I don’t think so. That was more like the straw that broke the camel’s back, if that makes sense.”

Seonghwa chuckled at the phrase, “I guess you’re right.”

“Of course I am,” Hongjoong smirked, “Now let’s take a nap. I trust the others to handle things for a bit. That and I’m still sleep deprived and you have a headache. A nap will probably help.”

“Man, I sure hope so, Joong.”

The two laid down and snuggled closer together, chasing some comfort and falling asleep.

  
  
  
  


Seonghwa nearly glared at Yunho when he entered the room.

His headache had died down to a dull throb, so that was good.

Hongjoong was still fast asleep next to him on the bed and seemed to be in a restful sleep. He didn’t want to interrupt it, so he put a finger up to his lips to tell Yunho to be quiet.

The younger closed his mouth and motioned for Seonghwa to come outside of the room.

Seonghwa looked at his sleeping boyfriend and decided he didn’t need him to sleep nicely.

He slowly and carefully got out of the bed and made his way to the hallway where Yunho was waiting for him.

After closing the bedroom door behind him, he looked at Yunho. “What’s up?”

“How’s Hongjoong-hyung?”

Seonghwa smiled, “Well, he’s sleeping right now. That’s the best we can ask for.”

“That’s good,” Yunho said with a smile, “Can you go talk to Jongho? I got him to calm down, but he needs someone to talk to, and I think he really wants to apologize to you.”

Seonghwa frowned in concern, “Was he panicking?”

Yunho nodded, “Yeah, he started to punch the punching bag, but we all know he would just break it almost instantly. I calmed him down as much as I could. He’s breathing normally, so I don’t think he’s much of a danger to himself right now.”

“Thanks for telling me. I’ll go check on him.”

Seonghwa gave Yunho a sad smile and made his way downstairs.

He made his way down the hallway that had several of their extra rooms. The punching bag was in the weight room, so Seonghwa made his way to stand outside that door.

Hesitantly, he reached for the doorknob, but stopped short when he heard a loud sniffle come from inside the room.

His brows immediately furrowed as he thought of their youngest crying. 

Jongho was a tough kid who rarely showed everyone what he was feeling, so even just hearing him cry made Seonghwa more concerned.

He finally pushed the door open and found Jongho sitting on the floor curled in on himself in the corner of the room.

He closed the door softly and made his way closer to the younger man.

“Aww, Jongho, I’m so sorry,” Seonghwa breathed out.

Jongho’s head shot up and Seonghwa was startled with the sight of puffy eyes and tear tracks on the younger’s face.

“Why are you sorry?” Jongho asked so quietly, Seonghwa almost wasn’t able to hear him.

“Because you have to deal with something like that on a daily basis and it must be really hard,” Seonghwa explained.

Jongho looked down, seemingly in shame. “I shouldn’t have said any of that though. I’m really sorry, hyung,” he said, fresh tears beginning to form.

Seonghwa instantly crouched down in front of the boy and placed a hand on his.

“Thank you for apologizing, but this isn’t on you,” Seonghwa started, “Your power is doing this to you.” Everyone’s power always had some sort of weakness that went along with it, and there wasn’t a great way to avoid them. Seonghwa had his nightmares, Yeosang had his asthma, and Jongho had his anger.

“I don’t understand why though. It’s part of me, so all of the stuff I’ve said or done, that must’ve been me, right?” Jongho asked nervously.

Seonghwa moved his hand up to the younger’s cheek and wiped away a stray tear that fell down his cheek and smiled sadly at him.

“It isn’t that simple,” he explained, “Your power is still so new. We still don’t know how all of it works and how the anger goes along with it.”

“I guess,” Jongho breathed out, “I still shouldn’t have said any of that to you.”

“You were trying hard to hold it in. I could tell,” Seonghwa was quick to say, “Besides, I don’t hold any of what you said against you. I’m not mad at you or offended.”

Jongho licked his lips and looked away at some of the exercise equipment.

“I’m just scared, hyung.”

The statement made Seonghwa freeze.

Jongho turned his gaze back towards Seonghwa and the older could see an almost terrified look in his eyes.

“C’mere,” Seonghwa commanded softly.

He opened his arms and pulled Jongho into a forced hug.

Usually the younger wouldn’t be okay with that kind of thing, but he let himself be pulled into the embrace, falling against Seonghwa’s chest easily.

“Don’t think you’re weak for feeling scared. We’ve all been scared of our powers at one point or another,” He rubbed the younger’s back, trying to comfort more, “It might be rough for a while, but soon you’ll be able to get over the fear, or learn to embrace it.”

Seonghwa let out a breathy laugh, “I mean, it would be concerning if you weren’t scared. And just remember, we’re always here for you and will help you through this.”

Jongho pulled away from Seonghwa and gave the older a teary smile.

“Thank you, hyung. I’m still really sorry for what I said earlier, but I’m really glad I have you as my brother.”

Seonghwa teared up at that comment and pulled Jongho close to him again, this time the younger reciprocated the hug.

He felt his shirt slowly get a little wet as Jongho cried.

The two sat like that for who knows how long until they heard the doorbell ring.

Seonghwa chuckled, “I guess our food is here. Better make sure Yeosang doesn’t eat all the chicken.”

Jongho let out a wet laugh and pulled away from Seonghwa. He sniffled and wiped his nose with the back of his hand (lowkey making Seonghwa cringe, but he hid it).

“He really loves chicken that much. Maybe we should go upstairs,” Jongho suggested.

“Are you ready for that?” Seonghwa asked with a smile.

Jongho nodded, “I think so. I’m calmed down enough. I just hope they don’t make fun of me for crying, or anything.”

“They would never,” Seonghwa said, shaking his head.

Jongho smiled and started to stand up, “If they do, you owe me.”

Seonghwa chuckled, “Sure thing.”

  
  
  
  


Seonghwa had to drag a sleepy Hongjoong back into the main room and set him on a sofa, only for the younger to lay back down and go back to sleep. He let out a chuckle as he watched Wooyoung throw a pair of chopsticks at their leader.

He grumbled and sat up. “For why?” He asked with a pout.

“Eat food!” Wooyoung screeched.

Yeosang had chosen well, getting a lot of chicken, some pizzas, and a couple things of ramen.

Seonghwa smiled as the mood had lightened from earlier.

Jongho sat, still a little tense from earlier, and ate a piece of pizza while watching the others with a small smile on his lips.

Once everyone seemed settled with food in their hands, Seonghwa called for their attention.

“Okay, let me continue while we eat so we can get this over with faster.”

Everyone went silent, seemingly a little nervous to continue eating.

“What are you doing, keep eating. This isn’t supposed to be a signal to stop,” Seonghwa said with a laugh.

They all continued eating after that.

“Okay, I just want you guys to know that Hal did take me on several warmups, as he liked to call them,” Seonghwa began, “They were just little things to get me used to using my powers more. I stayed with him almost every night and he kept making me practice and practice so I could fight with him.

“I didn’t go with him everywhere, but it was enough to get me into the habit of staying up late into the night. My grades slipped at school, but not once did Hal say anything, or my dad,” Jongho flinched a little bit at that, “But Hongjoong did. He offered to help me out a little bit. I think it was because he saw my mom and felt bad for me, not knowing everything that had been going on in my life.

“He also noticed that I seemed a lot more tired during the day-”

“You had the biggest bags under your eyes, more than I do now,” Hongjoong interrupted, earning light chuckles from everyone in the room.

Seonghwa smiled at his boyfriend and continued, “Anyways, he did try to help me, but I got so caught up in trying to be a hero that I ended up ignoring someone who obviously cared for my well-being. I started talking like Hal, which wasn’t the best, and even thinking like him a little bit. Of course, with all the training he was giving me, that would make sense.

“It was only for a month at most, but the time with him did me more harm than good, and I couldn’t see that,” Seonghwa finished.

  
  
  
  


He stumbled through the portal into the apartment and landed on his hands and knees, breath coming in short spurts. He struggled to rip his mask off of the bottom half of his face, hoping that would make it better.

He still felt like he was being suffocated as the panic inside of him welled up, causing him to choke up.

Hot tears were streaming down his cheeks as he thought about what he almost did.

He was just tagging along with Hal, trying to stop a couple people the older man said were gang members that happened to be a bigger threat than the others.

It was easy for the most part, Seonghwa even took one of them down.

But the problem came when something was triggered inside of Seonghwa, causing him to lose control and almost strangle the man to death.

He didn’t know why he did that, but Hal wasn’t happy with him.

Seonghwa never wanted to kill anybody, and he never found out if that man survived or not. 

Hal pushed him through the portal before he could see what became of the thug.

His panic took over and didn’t allow him to find any comfort in the familiar setting of Hal’s apartment.

He vaguely heard footsteps coming from behind him and was suddenly pushed to the floor.

He let out a groan and squeezed his eyes shut.

“Seonghwa, get up,” Hal commanded.

“I- I ki-killed h-him,” Seonghwa stuttered through sobs.

Hal grabbed the boy’s shoulders and hauled him up to his feet, causing him to stumble a little.

“And what if you did? It happens.”

Seonghwa stared at the older man with wide eyes and curled in on himself.

“H-heroes are supposed to sa-save people, n-not hurt th-them,” he struggled to say.

Hal whipped around to face Seonghwa and moved so he was only a couple inches away from the younger boy’s face.

“Heroes aren’t perfect. Get that thought out of your head.”

He turned away slowly as Seonghwa was left wide-eyed and staring at the space in front of him. Several seconds of tense silence passed before Seonghwa mustered up the courage to speak again.

“I’m scared.”

Hal scoffed, “You should be.”

Seonghwa flinched at his abruptness.

“You’re dangerous, Seonghwa. It would be crazy if you weren’t scared of yourself.”

“I didn’t say I was scared of myself,” Seonghwa corrected.

Hal turned his head towards Seonghwa, “But you were thinking it.”

Seonghwa’s vision went blurry again and more hot tears made their way down his face. He wanted to sit down, but he was scared Hal would scold him for it. So he stood there, unmoving, staring at Hal’s retreating back.

“By the way,” Hal said, interrupting Seonghwa’s thoughts, “We might be able to find a healer friend for ya soon.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well...
> 
> My b
> 
> I'd love to know what you guys thought about that, and what you think will come of it.
> 
> (Also, I'm sorry for hurting Jongho, It was an accident)
> 
> Love you, beans!!! (Vean)


	6. Pt. 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heheh, my b
> 
> My birthday got in the way on friday, then I got lazy, now here we are.
> 
> This isn't as long as I was hoping, but it's a build up to the next chapter (Which should be longer, but who knows)
> 
> Enjoy!!!

The Fall afternoon air had become more crisp and cold over the month Seonghwa had been training.

It was almost cold enough at night that he could see his breath when he breathed.

He always loved the leaves and fall, especially since his brother’s birthday was during it and they would always go play in the leaves on those days.

So he decided, on his brother’s birthday, he would go visit his grave.

Hongjoong had asked him where he was headed when the younger saw him start walking in a completely new direction.

“Oh...nowhere important, just for a walk…” Seonghwa trailed off awkwardly. He still felt bad for ignoring Hongjoong for a little bit, but the younger boy was persistent.

“May I join you on your...walk, then?” Hongjoong asked.

Seonghwa took a deep breath and prepared himself to deny the younger.

“Yeah, sure.”

That wasn’t what he meant to say.

“Sweet! You lead the way.”

Seonghwa couldn’t find it in him to deny Hongjoong after that; mostly because it would be too awkward for him, but also because Hongjoong was nice and Seonghwa knew he could trust him with the whole thing with his brother, but he was going to try and defer the boy before they made it to the cemetery.

He did have to stop at a flower shop to get a couple flowers, so maybe he could lose Hongjoong there.

Seonghwa was surprised at himself that he was talking a lot more with Hongjoong; especially given the situation.

It wasn’t like he hadn’t visited his brother’s grave before, but something about it being his brother’s first birthday no longer living should’ve shook Seonghwa more.

Maybe the presence of Hongjoong and his bright smile was enough of a distraction from the looming sadness Seonghwa faced every day.

With every word Hongjoong said on the way, Seonghwa fell more and more in love with him.

He was so lucky that his crush actually took the time to talk with Seonghwa.

No one ever did that anymore.

Seonghwa never expected their conversation to turn to superheroes though.

“Do you know who Eden is?” Hongjoong asked suddenly.

Seonghwa tilted his head. The name sounded familiar, but he couldn’t quite place it.

“Maybe?”

“Really? He’s, like, a pretty popular hero,” Hongjoong explained.

Seonghwa’s brows furrowed, “That doesn’t....sound right to me for some reason.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah, I don’t know why. Eden just seems like a villain name, for lack of better description,” Seonghwa explained.

He didn’t know why he thought that, but that’s just what made sense in his head.

He missed the way Hongjoong’s expression shifted from playful to concerned.

“What about Havoc? Have you heard of him?” Hongjoong asked.

Seonghwa nodded, “Yeah, I know that guy. Wasn’t he the one who hurt Yeji?”

“Yeah,” Hongjoong confirmed, “Yeah, he was,” He paused, “Why do you know of Havoc, but not really Eden? The two battle all the time.”

“Um...I’m not sure, actually.”

“Huh, weird,” Hongjoong stated, “Well, Eden has these kind of...I don’t know, co-heroes that he trains.”

“You mean sidekicks?” Seonghwa asked.

Hongjoong sighed, “I guess, yeah, that’s close enough.”

Seonghwa snickered as he waited for Hongjoong to continue.

“Anyways, everyone’s talking about his sidekick Charge,” he started, capturing Seonghwa’s attention, “He and Eden got into a fight with that Havoc guy. Everyone around them said they kept feeling weird, but didn’t know what was going on. Like, it’s weird. I don’t know, but the way everyone was explaining it was interesting.”

“That sounds weird. What do you mean?”

“Well, I’m not sure, but I know a couple people said they felt like they were wanting the wrong person to win,” Hongjoong explained.

Seonghwa raised a brow in confusion, “Huh, that is weird. Who won?”

“Eden and Charge, of course. The heroes always win. Well, I mean, Havoc just retreated, so we still need to catch him.”

“We?”

Hongjoong froze, “Ah, I mean we as in the good guys. I consider myself a good guy,” he let out a nervous chuckle, “My bad, I just misspoke.”

Seonghwa chuckled, “You’re good.”

The conversation drifted off into a comfortable silence and the two kept walking.

Pretty soon they ended up in front of the flower shop and Hongjoong seemed to stop dead in his tracks, leaving Seonghwa to walk to the door, when he saw where they were.

Seonghwa felt Hongjoong’s presence leave his side and he stopped to look back.

The younger’s face seemed shocked with some sort of realization.

“Hongjoong, you okay?”

Hongjoong nodded, pressing his lips into a firm line. “Why are we at a flower shop?” He asked, voice a little tense.

Seonghwa flashed a small smile and turned back towards the door, motioning for Hongjoong to follow.

The two made their way inside and Seonghwa headed straight for the front counter.

Hongjoong began walking around the colorful flower shop and smelling the flowers. 

One of the shop workers met Seonghwa at the counter.

“Hi, how are you doing today?” They asked cheerfully.

Seonghwa smiled, “I’m good. I need two small bouquets. I don’t really know what to get.”

“Ah, I see,” the worker said, “I can help with that. What are they for? Him?” They asked, looking at Hongjoong.

Seonghwa’s cheeks suddenly burned at the implication. He spluttered to try and tell them no.

“I- n-no, it isn’t for him. He’s just a friend.”

The worker smirked at him and nodded, “Okay then, who are they for?”

“My mom...and my brother,” Seonghwa said solemnly enough to clue the florist in on what the situation was.

“Ah, okay, what are their favorite colors?”

Seonghwa proceeded to tell the worker all they needed to know and after about ten minutes, he walked away from the counter with two small bouquets. One a mix of red, pink, and white flowers and one purely white.

Hongjoong looked at Seonghwa, then down at the flowers.

“Who...who are they for?” He asked hesitantly.

“One for my mom, and one for my brother.”

Hongjoong nodded in understanding. “Do you want company the rest of the way?” He asked as they stepped outside of the store.

Seonghwa let out a sigh, “No, I should go alone. Thank you for walking with me this far though.”

“Of course. That’s what friends are for,” Hongjoong smiled.

Seonghwa smiled back, “I’ll see you at school.”

Hongjoong gave a confirmation and Seonghwa turned to walk towards the cemetery where his brother’s grave was.

  
  
  
  


Red, orange, and yellow leaves swirled around Seonghwa’s feet as he made his way through the cemetery towards his brother’s grave.

The dead grass crunched beneath his feet as he stepped towards the headstone that had the surname Park engraved in large letters. 

He knelt down before the stone and just stared at it, not really sure what to do.

Did people actually talk to their loved ones when they went to cemeteries?

He read his brother’s name again and took a deep breath.

“Hey hyung,” Seonghwa started, albeit a little hesitantly, “I don’t really know what I’m supposed to talk about. I know I did want to tell you that I’m sorry for not visiting sooner. It was just hard and I couldn’t-”

Seonghwa let out a choked sound. He told himself he wasn’t going to cry, but it looked like he lied.

“It was hard. Mom isn’t doing the best. Dad kind of ignores me now, but that’s okay,” Seonghwa sniffled and smiled, “I did make a new friend. Do you remember Hongjoong? I had a crush on him for a while, but we ended up becoming friends. He walked with me to the flower shop today.”

He looked at the bundle of flowers in his hand and placed the white bouquet next to the headstone.

“These are for you. I’m...I’m really sorry your life had to end on a bad note. I imagine breakups can be the easiest thing to deal with. Your last moments should’ve been happy. It’s not fun...to see someone’s life get cut short. Especially someone you know personally,” Seonghwa cried.

He let himself go and tears cascaded down his chilled cheeks.

He only let himself let out a couple sobs before controlling his tears again.

“I have powers, you know,” Seonghwa brought up, “I met someone, and he’s going to help me save mom. We can find a healer for her. Then she can come visit you when she’s better. Wouldn’t that be amazing? I was fortunate enough to have Hal find me and he wants to help me. I just have to help him a bit and I can even become a hero.

“I do have to keep remembering the crash...and the funeral, but it’s worth it. It’ll all be worth it if I can just save mom,” Seonghwa explained with a smile. He took out his phone and looked at the time, “Ah, well, I should get going if I want to see mom today. I hope dad’s come to visit you at some point. I’ll come visit you soon and let you know how everything goes so you aren’t left out of the loop,” Seonghwa chuckled to himself and stood up.

The dry grass crunched under him again and autumn leaves swirled around him as he left the cemetery.

  
  
  
  


He stepped off of the elevator and into the lobby he was most familiar with. 

Dr. Hwang stood near the reception desk and greeted him as he walked in.

“Mr. Park, how are you?”

Seonghwa smiled, “I’m good, thank you for asking. How are you?”

“I’m good,” The doctor chuckled, “Everyone’s been doing fairly well today.”

“That’s great,” And it truly was to Seonghwa.

“You’re good to go see your mom,” Dr. Hwang glanced down at the flowers in Seonghwa’s hands, “And those flowers did need to be changed.”

Seonghwa laughed and walked towards his mother’s room.

He glanced at what used to be Yeji’s old room. 

She had gotten better fairly quick and was able to go back to school soon enough.

Seonghwa was curious if any new person occupied the room now.

When he walked into his mother’s room, everything looked almost the exact same as before, save for the flowers looking even more dead and the whiteboard in the room had different information on it.

He moved to the vase with the dead flowers and emptied them, replacing them with the new ones as the old ones got placed in the trash.

Once Seonghwa was done changing the flowers, he moved to his mother’s bedside and sat down where he usually did.

He placed her frail hand in his and smiled at her unconscious form.

“Hey mom, I’m back,” He started, “I changed your flowers. They’re your favorite colors this time. The florist helped me pick out the flowers and stuff. They were really nice. Hongjoong came with me too. I think I really like him, mom. I told Minjun about him too. You guys would really love him. He’s so nice and considerate and funny. He deserves the world.

“I also might be able to help you soon. Just hold on a little bit longer, okay? I hope dad’s been visiting you. If not, I’ll have to talk to the guy myself and knock some sense into him,” Seonghwa chuckled to himself.

“That would sure be something, huh?”

Seonghwa sat there silently for who knows how long and finally decided it was time to leave.

“I’ll come back another day, mom. I miss you so much and I love you,” Seonghwa smiled at his mother’s calm expression and stood up, gently putting her hand down. He grabbed his bag, slinging it over his shoulder, and headed out to his house.

Hal told Seonghwa he had something important to do away from home that night, so Seonghwa wasn’t able to crash at his place.

But he didn’t really want to. He wanted to be home after seeing his family to avoid any possible teasing from Hal.

Seonghwa couldn’t think of a logical reason why, but he didn’t think his father would be home.

He knew how wrong he was when he saw that his father’s car was parked inside the garage.

His heart dropped when he noticed, but there was no turning back.

He steeled himself and walked through the door that led from the garage into the house.

Seonghwa set his bag down near where he took off his shoes and hesitantly made his way through the house.

He was really hoping to just avoid his dad as much as he could.

As he made his way into the kitchen, he saw a couple glass bottles set on the counter. Upon closer inspection, he saw that they were beer bottles, and they were empty.

He slowly and carefully peered into their living to see if his dad was on the couch, but he didn’t see him there.

Seonghwa turned back to head towards his room and ran straight into his father.

He stepped back with wide eyes as he noticed the state his father was in.

He wore a light blue dress shirt half untucked in black slacks. His shoes were off, but he wore black socks. The tie wrapped around his neck was hanging there loosely. His hair looked like he had run his hand through it one too many times and there were bags under his eyes.

“Hi, dad,” Seonghwa greeted hesitantly.

“Where’ve you been?” His father demanded.

Seonghwa flinched at the sudden loudness, “I’m- I was just visiting mom…”

“I don’ mean jus’ barely,” He slurred, indicating to Seonghwa he had drunk a little, “For the las’ couple weeks.”

“Oh...I was with a friend, yeah,” Seonghwa explained as vaguely as he could.

“Why?”

Seonghwa took a deep breath. He really wanted his dad to understand that it always made him uncomfortable to be home now. Especially since he started drinking and it was missing half of the people he loved.

“It’s...suffocating. Being here. With Minjun gone and mom...in the hospital, I-”

Seonghwa was cut off when he felt a sudden sting flare across his cheek.

He turned to look at his father with wide eyes.

There was some sort of anger living inside of his eyes and Seonghwa didn’t know why.

He guessed it was probably from the alcohol, but that did nothing to comfort him.

He raised his hand up slowly and pressed it against his cheek.

“It was all your fault, ya know,” his father said, “The crash. There was no way it wasn’”

Seonghwa shook his head, “No, no how could it be my fault?”

“Erythin’ is your fault,” His dad stepped closer, forcing Seonghwa to step back in fear.

“Wh-”

“You’re probly the one who’s keepin’ your mom in the ‘ospital.”

Seonghwa frowned at the man, “Maybe if you actually visited her and didn’t act like she was already dead, she would be getting better.”

He regretted pointing that out when his father raised his hand again.

Seonghwa quickly raised his arms to defend himself, but the blow never came, only the sound of something heavy thudding against a wall.

He quickly lowered his arms and could only focus on the black shadows that seemed to pin his father to the opposite wall.

He let out a panicked noise upon seeing his father unconscious in the shadow’s grip.

The shadows quickly receded, leaving Seonghwa’s father to fall to the floor in a crumpled heap.

Seonghwa’s heart thudded in his chest in panic.

He couldn’t think clearly enough to figure out if the panic welling up in his chest was from him using his power to hurt his dad, or if it was the resulting emotions from his father’s accusations.

He wasn’t sure how long he just stood there, looking at his father’s unconscious form. He should’ve helped him, or something, but it didn’t feel right.

A sudden surge of anger flared through him.

“Why would I help you if you hurt me first?”

It suddenly didn’t make sense to Seonghwa. There was no point in helping the man who made his home feel like a suffocating prison.

His expression turned sour and he glared at the man on the floor in front of him.

“I hope you suffer,” He said bitterly, turning to leave the house.

He didn’t bother grabbing his backpack as he left the house, only putting his shoes on by the door and leaving.

There was an angry fog consuming Seonghwa’s mind in that moment that he didn’t even register the walk to Hal’s place.

He threw the front door open and didn’t register as he used his shadows to slam it shut. 

He stormed his way to the living room, half hoping Hal would be sitting there, but also hoping he could mope and seeth in his anger without the other’s presence around.

After not finding Hal anywhere, Seonghwa threw himself down onto one of the sofas. He laid on his back and pressed the heels of his palms into his eyes.

Something was welling in his chest. He couldn’t tell if it was panic or not. It felt a little different.

It felt like it was crushing him though.

He tried taking deeper breaths, but his throat felt closed off.

The fight between him and his father kept running through his head.

It wasn’t even a big fight, besides the hitting, why was he so mad?

Maybe the crash was his fault.

Maybe his mom would’ve been able to stop in time if he wasn’t there to talk to her.

Maybe she would be alright today.

Maybe Minjun would still be alive.

He pressed his palms into his eyes harder and let out a sob.

Seonghwa’s skin was burning. He felt like he was on fire.

Pressure was building in his chest, making it hard for him to breath properly.

His head pounded from thinking too much.

The memory of the crash played through his mind as he tried to think of ways they could’ve avoided catastrophe.

It repeated.

And repeated.

And repeated.

And repeated until Seonghwa couldn’t bear it anymore.

He let out a frustrated scream that he could barely hear himself, but as soon as he stopped, all of the pressure inside of him lifted.

His skin felt cooler.

His body felt lighter.

He took a deep breath, savoring the feeling of finally being able to breath properly.

Seonghwa lowered his arms to lie on his stomach and stared up at the ceiling with the tear tracks on his cheeks beginning to dry.

His head slowly turned to the side and his eyes widened at what he saw.

The other couch was flipped. The small side table was knocked on its side. The TV screen was cracked.

Seonghwa winced.

Was that his fault?

It probably was. Most things were his fault. At least, that’s what he thought.

He couldn’t find it in himself to move, let alone clean up. His limbs felt heavy and weak.

Was his power really that draining?

But look at what he could do with it if he learned to control it.

Seonghwa turned his head back to face the ceiling and squeezed his eyes shut.

He let out a small groan and took a couple more deep breaths.

Time apparently passed by quicker than Seonghwa thought, because Hal finally came home at about one in the morning and Seonghwa hadn’t moved from his spot on the couch. Partially because he wasn’t able to lift himself up without being in pain.

Hal’s footsteps stopped in the entryway to the room Seonghwa was in.

“Oh… not what I was expecting to see when I got home.”

“I…,” Seonghwa swallowed, “I’m sorry.”

His throat felt scratchy, causing his words to sound pained.

Hal quickly walked towards Seonghwa on the couch and he crouched down to be by the younger’s face.

“Hey, don’t be sorry. This is amazing!”

Seonghwa managed to give him a confused expression.

“That means you have more power in you than you think,” Hal explained, “What caused this, exactly?”

Seonghwa swallowed and grimaced from the way his throat burned from the action. “My dad and I...we got in a fight. Things were said. I hurt him, then came here.”

He closed his eyes and missed the smirk that grew on Hal’s face.

“Good, good.”

Seonghwa wanted to whip his head towards Hal, but his muscles refused to cooperate. Instead, he sent him a scowl.

“I mean, It’s good that you’re finding moments to use as your energy. Think of them like your muse. You know, like for artists and stuff. Are you still too young to know about that stuff?”

Seonghwa sighed and shook his head, “No, that makes sense. My painful memories are my muse then?”

“Yep,” Hal said, popping the ‘p’.

The two sat in silence for a couple seconds before Seonghwa spoke up. 

“So what now?”

Hal shrugged, “Keep thinking about it and all the bad stuff he said to you. That’ll help you get used to the feeling you probably felt earlier.”

“It’s always going to feel like that?” Seonghwa asked, brows drawn in concern.

“It’s different for everyone. Some people grow used to the pain,” Hal explained, “But usually everyone hurts every time.”

“Oh,” was all Seonghwa could muster the strength to say.

His eyelids suddenly felt a little heavier.

“Can I sleep here tonight? I’m sorry for intruding.”

“Of course, kid. I mean, it’s not like you can go home. This can be your home now.”

And Seonghwa believed that.

  
  
  
  


“I can’t believe I believed something like that,” Seonghwa said, his gaze staring at the floor in front of him.

His headache suddenly returned, pounding right behind his eyes.

There wasn’t much food left on the table, but everyone seemed to have filled their stomachs enough.

No one really dared to speak after that.

What were they supposed to say?

There was the fear that Jongho would blow up about the whole situation with Seonghwa’s dad again.

Seonghwa did notice Jongho flinch when he mentioned his father had hit him. The youngest also scowled when Seonghwa was telling about what Hal had told him, but that was the extent of it.

The air in the room was tense. No one wanted to break the awkward silence.

Seonghwa sighed, “I’m sorry for dumping all of this on you guys.”

“Don’t be sorry,” Yunho said, “We need to know these kinds of things.”

“Yeah, it helps us know you better. I feel closer to you already,” Wooyoung said.

“We’ve known him for a couple years, Woo,” Yeosang said, causing everyone to laugh.

Seonghwa smiled at them, “What would I do without you guys?”

“Probably continue to be manipulated by an obviously not good person,” Jongho said plainly.

Nervous chuckles rang throughout the room. 

“And you’re probably right, Jongho,” Hongjoong said.

Everyone whipped their heads towards Hongjoong, mouths agape at the blatant statement.

“Hyung-”

“No, Hongjoong and Jongho are right,” Seonghwa said, “I’m only remembering this now, but my father was never that heavy of a drinker. Not even when my brother died. He only drank enough to be tipsy. He was never violent then. There must’ve been some sort of outside force coercing him, don’t you think?”

“I guess you’re right,” San agreed.

Seonghwa nodded, “Right, and we know Hal can do that kind of mental manipulation stuff. HE made Hongjong forget something so easily.”

Mingi shifted in his seat. “Hyung, what if that’s a stretch though? Hal wanted to help you, right?”

“That’s what he claimed.”

“What if we’re reading too much into it.”

“We aren’t,” Hongjoong interrupted. 

Everyone’s heads turned and all of their focus was on their leader.

“Hwa, I think it’d be a good idea if you told what happened next.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys enjoyed that
> 
> There are some parts of it I'm not the most happy with, but I hope it was understandable regardless.
> 
> Let me know what you thought!!!
> 
> Have a good one, beans!!!

**Author's Note:**

> Have a good one, beans!!!
> 
> My Twitter: [@Chirp_B](https://twitter.com/Chirp_B)
> 
> My Ko-fi: [ChirpB](https://ko-fi.com/chirpb)


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